A Journey Through Lent

March 17, 2011

2011-03-17T23:13:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I think I dreamt of my mom last night, but I don't know for certain. I just have the general recollection of it. And I don't know what is going on lately. I have been much more weepy about not having her around than usual. Is it because her birthday is next week and she would have been 67? Is it because Artsy's First Communion is around the corner? Is it because I was picking out Easter and Mother's Day cards today and as usual I ended up buying one for my mom. I don't know. I don't intend to buy a card, but there is always one that literally jumps into my hands. I just still can't believe it has been over 4 years since she died.

I remember praying that God would bring grandmotherly role models into the kids lives. They have a wonderful Nana, but unfortunately she lives 18 hours away. Interestingly, there wasn't one grandmotherly role model, but instead I could list 6 beautiful grandmotherly woman who have all been a wonderful support to my kids in several different ways. I asked for one and God gave me six. God cannot be out done can He?

I made a big step today in regards to my spiritual life. I asked a priest to be my spiritual director. I am expecting to hear a "no" because I realize how terribly busy they are. I have been thinking about this for years and finally took the plunge with a priest I barely know, but felt called to check it out. I will let you know. Good night!

March 15, 2011

2011-03-15T22:50:00.000-05:00

I have two thoughts today as I plow through Lent learning profusely from my children. Today, I was driving with the four kids in the back. On the other side of the road there was a car with 3 police cars behind it. Then I saw a man trying desperately to walk a straight line to no avail. He was clearly drunk, keep in mind this is at 9am. I lost my temper in the car "What an idiot! He is drunk! He could have killed someone! What is he thinking? What a loser!", and on I went. Sad, but true. I should have obviously held my tongue. But what does Joke-A-Lot say from the back seat? "Mama, God calls us to love our enemies." Darn it! She is right again. I can't get away with anything. So, immediately I agreed and we prayed for him. I reminded them again when I tucked them in to pray for him. I also reiterated that what I was doing wasn't useful at all, but our prayers are useful as God loves that man just as much as He loves us. I am not kidding when I say "My kids are helping me get to Heaven."

The other struggle I have had today is with pride. My daughters did something really cool recently and a lady from our church wrote an article with my help and put it in the quarterly church pamphlet with a picture of the girls. Joke-A-Lot asked me if it would be prideful to ask her friends if they saw it. We agreed that it was something that we didn't need to bring up. Yet, I had to fight myself because I wanted to ask the mom of these friends if she saw it. So, I bit my tongue many times and tonight I caved. I actually blatantly asked her if she saw it. She said that she had and it was fine, etc. But I am kicking myself. Why am I in such need of affirmation and praise from other people? And there were a couple people that did mention what a nice article it was to me without me prompting them, but why did I have to hear it from her? What is someone put on the spot going to say anyway, "Boy, that article was the pits." Why isn't it enough to know that the girls did a really great thing for God and that's it? I just wish I could rely on God alone for my affirmation and praise.

I am so glad that God loves and forgives me as I try to make my way through this journey of life on earth. Good night.

March 12, 2011

2011-03-12T23:28:00.000-06:00

"He alone can take all sorrow away from my heart and all fear from my soul, because He knows me in the very depths of my being." (In Conversation with God vol 2 pg 24)

I can't help but to try to avoid the news at all cost. Whenever I hear of the worsening effects of everything in Japan, I just want to cry. I think of what they must have felt as they were whisked away. I keep telling my kids, "We really need to keep praying for the people in Japan." It is absolutely gut-wrenching. So, again I wonder why I am the lucky one?

My worst problem today was the fact that Mr. Fix-It painted the girls room and put up some new blinds and we don't think we like the blinds. Ohhh, what a tragic day here in our home. Yet, I am so quick to fly off the handle at things like yet another piece of pizza slipping out of someones' hands right onto their lap. It seems ridiculous to even mention now, but I will go back to the very first blog this Lenten season and what I mentioned there. These shortcomings and lack of patience issues mean nothing more than the fact that "I am not close enough to Christ". If I strive more for closeness to him, I will in turn be more gentle, patience, loving and kind. All the fear that I experience in regards to my kids means nothing more than "I am not close enough to Christ" because if I really was close enough to Christ, I would fully trust that he has everything under control. I hope to keep this thought running through my blog this season because I really want it etched in my mind that there doesn't have to be elaborate plans on how to become more holy or raise holy kids (although I won't say no to any suggestions), I just need to strive to be closer to Christ and all will be revealed to me. Good night!

March 11, 2011

2011-03-11T22:54:00.000-06:00

We went to Culvers tonight for the fish dinner. While there, we met a gentleman who was alone and clearly wanting conversation. We learned quite a bit about him, at times a little too much about him being that there were 8 ears under the age of 9. Part of me had a selfish attitude wanting to enjoy sitting there with my family without this intrusion. We rarely go out, so this was quite a treat. But here was this man reaching out to us. After hearing his story, I was even more grateful for the family sitting before me. Why should I hoard my family, but rather share it with this gentleman? It was a good reminder to me to keep my eyes focused on my family, but not so focused that I lose my peripheral vision. I don't want to miss those God-intended interactions with people. I also need to continually die to that natural selfish desire within me that wants things exactly the way I want them.

My book talked about mortifications beginning right at the start of the day, like getting out of bed promptly in the morning. Ummm. I really have a hard time with that. I have such a hard, hard time with that. I will go in streaks and go right back to justifying why I need to sleep just a little bit longer and then the day becomes more chaotic because I didn't get up on time. I struggle with self-discipline in so many different areas. And part of the solution is keeping these blog posts reasonable and getting to bed at a decent time. Good Night!

March 10, 2011

2011-03-11T00:31:00.000-06:00

Today while riding down the road, I saw a sign on the side of the road that you may also have seen. It read "Fender Bender? Pull over to the shoulder." I have always found that fascinating. Do we really need a sign to tell us to pull over to the shoulder if we have a fender bender? I would think that would be obvious to the common observer that one must get their huge piece of steel and plastic out of the way, so others can proceed past them. But as I thought more about it, I realized that I am not so quick to pull over when I have a mental fender bender. I don't get out of the way, so others can proceed with their day. I typically make sure others (usually my kids and husband) are aware of my mental fender bender. So, I can see the wisdom in this road sign for my spiritual life. When I have a mental or spiritual fender bender, I need to pull over at the soonest opportunity to share information with God and allow his Holy Spirit to come into the situation no matter how small, so as not to cause further mental fender benders between others by not getting out of the way.

In my meditation today, it stated that "one of the clearest symptoms of lukewarmness having entered into a soul is precisely such an abandoning of the Cross, a contempt for little mortifications, a scorning of anything that is some way involves sacrifice and self-denial." I hate sacrifice and that is why I find Lent so difficult, especially in regard to what I put in my body. I gave up diet soda for Lent and hopefully thereafter as well. And I see how quick my mind thinks of consuming that beverage as an enjoyment, like it will provide something for me. Staying up late and writing my blog and reading my meditation is in a way a sacrifice, but quite honestly (and I said I would strive for complete honesty in my blog), I enjoy writing this blog, so it doesn't feel like much of a sacrifice. Doing this also helps me ground myself so much in the spiritual. I think of giving up my coffee with milk in the morning and just cringe. That seems too difficult for me. So, sadly I think God will put crosses in my life to bring me closer to Him, such as when my mom died. I know I am stronger and closer to Him because of her death, but I still miss her so much. Things just seem so much lonelier without her around. I will work to sacrifice more than I do and let you know of any progress in this area. Joke-A-Lot wanted to go to adoration every day during Lent, and I said "No way." Maybe, I need to sacrifice a bit and try to do this.

Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T22:33:00.000-06:00

Welcome Back!

"A pure heart create for me O god; put a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 50

I have decided to do things a little different this Lenten season. I did not actively let anyone know that I would once again be blogging (except for my two girls). I figure if God led anyone to take a look this Lenten season than, I hope they come away with something. But for me, the humility of doing this simply to enrich my relationship with the Lord seems to be exactly what I am called to do. So, the only followers may be God and I. But how great is that? Really.

So, I am lightening up on the rigorous layout that I followed last Lent in my blog. This year I hope to use my lenten meditation called "In Conversation With God" by Francis Fernandez to lead any of my thoughts. I hope to share things that I find funny, but I am taking special care to be real with you and to be a humble servant. I am in no way a perfect Catholic homeschooling mom. Quite the contrary, I am an imperfect Catholic homeschooling mom just trying to hear God through all the clutter that trys to cloud my mind.

I am feeling a bit stir crazy, which is odd for me. I usually love being home with the kids, but I can just feel the blues a bit. And when I read my meditation today it really spoke to me. Maybe it will speak to you "When any one of us realises he is sad, he must think: 'It is because I am not close enough to Christ . . .' If he throws the blame on things around him, he will be wide of the mark; he will be looking in the wrong direction." He continues on using the phrase "I am not close enough to Christ" in response to pretty much everything that we struggle with.

So, despite the "blues" feeling, I don't want to run for the hills. I want to work on this. I can see how hard it is for me to just be. My normal response would to be to try to get busy doing all sorts of activities with the kids until I was crazy. But I think the key for me is going to be finding peace and serenity in the mundane of life. I think that is one of the treasures I can help the kids with too because life isn't always full of fun and excitement. Much of life is work, but to be able to be singularly focused on Christ during that work is a gift I hope to acquire and pass on to the kids.

And I must leave you with a laugh, as I sign off for the night. We went to Ash Wednesday Mass tonight as a family. I was holding Curly, my 3 year old little guy. After we received the ash crosses on our forehead and were walking back up the aisle, Curly starts a LOUD conversation. "Did he just put dirt on my head?" He starts rubbing at his head, "Why did he put dirt on my head? Now I need a bath." And yes, he repeated this montra all the way back to the pew where he was still saying "Now I need a bath, my heads dirty." It is making me laugh just thinking about it. I saw a few other people laugh, too. Curly is hoot and will keep me running all the days of my life, I am sure.

June 8, 2010

2010-06-08T23:00:00.002-05:00

Verse of the Day
"No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear."
Ephesians 4:29

Song of the Day
"Hold Us Together" by Matt Mahrer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-he2DohfwWE

My Thoughts
"This is the first day of the rest of your life." We have heard that a thousand and one times, but what a refreshing thought after those hard to handle days where you feel like you have been impatient and unkind, like I experienced yesterday. God forgives those who seek His forgiveness, and we have the ability to begin afresh the next day or even the same day. And given that fresh start today, I have had a very enjoyable day with my children. I have seen that the real key for me is to stay in the day. When I think of the past, I can become down as I desperately want my mom alive again. I so want to share everything about my life with her and hear her thoughts and opinions about everything. When I think of the future I think of all the sad things that could come my way. But when I stay in today, my life is really quite good. Then I can focus on the tasks at hand whether good or bad. I have these great kids that I really do enjoy, except when Race Car comes out of nowhere to tackle me. He just isn't getting the idea that he has to take it a little easy on his mom. And I have this great husband whose temperment is absolutely perfect for me.

God always knows exactly what we need. Yesterday after my meeting I came home and went to give the kids a kiss. They are usually sound asleep, with the exception of Joke-a-Lot. I was hoping they were up because I wanted to ask their forgiveness for my impatience that day. I was REALLY impatient. As usual Joke-A-Lot was up. She had a poem there waiting for me. I want to share it with you.

Mom's by Joke-A-Lot

"I love my mom. She takes good care of me. She loves me and I love her so much. I couldn't have a better mom than her. Do you have a good mom? I hope you do. I'm glad Jesus made her."

Then in the morning, Artsy gave me her note that she had made for me,

"I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. Love, Artsy"

I felt so unworthy to receive these notes, but it was just enough to invigorate me to do better and try harder, although most importantly to hand these defects of character to God and ask him to remove them just for today.

So, if today was a hard day, turn to God first and ask what He would have you do. I so often turn to human beings first when I really need to turn to God first and human beings second.

May 25, 2010

2010-05-25T22:15:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Yet I consider life of no importance to me, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to bear witness to the gospel of God's grace."
Act 20:24

Song of the Day
Amazing Love by Newsboys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTCLw1L_YFc

My Thoughts
I have noticed that I go through periods of feeling pretty overwhelmed with the amounts of "important projects" that I have running through my head. Then I waver back to the "I am almost caught up" end of the spectrum, although I never quite arrive there. I am definitely on the overwhelmed side of things, hence the reason for my lack of blogs. But I did realize something that I have noticed in the past, but was reaffirmed in today. No matter how hectic the day is, or how many things I say "no" to during the day. All seems well in my soul if I just take a few moments at the end of the day to play a game with the kids. So often I don't and then deal with guilt. I love spending time with my kids, and yet I live in fear of missing the many opportunities I have to really enjoy the kids.

As I contemplate the many different activities I can sign the kids up for this summer, yet another one of the "important projects" that I am putting off, I start thinking what would really be better for the kids: signing them up and hauling them to t-ball two nights a week, or scheduling "family t-ball" in the backyard. I am not saying the kids shouldn't have activities, but the reality is that the time spent running to activities is directly proportional to the lack of time spent at home as a family. Good nor bad, I am really praying about how much to sign the kids up for. I want to find the talents that God gave them and encourage those talents, while not forgoing these awesome years when all my kids still want to hang with me.

May 17, 2010

2010-05-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

Verse of the Day
"In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world."
John 16:33

Song of the Day
"Give me your Eyes" by Brandon Heath
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWIpQuGwSyQ

My Thoughts
I spend way too much time trying "to fit" into whatever situation I am in. And, I typically feel as if I don't "fit". Yet, such a kind soul, helped me to view the world in a completely different way. She said to open my eyes wide and take off the parameters that I have set for myself. She explained that there are so many good people out there with so much love to give, but we tend to continue looking within the same groups. Instead she said to be open to friendships from people in all different circles of life, of all different ages and backgrounds.

I also wonder if the Lord allows each of us to wander in a period of desert in order that we might come out of the dessert with different eyes, eyes open to seeing the broken-hearted (hence the song choice), eyes fixed on bringing God's love to others instead of worrying about our self and how we will fit into a situation. Instead, we seek to see how we could be of love and service to others.

May 12, 2010

2010-05-12T16:50:00.007-05:00

Verse of the Day
"To you I raise my eyes, to you enthroned in heaven."
Psalm 123:1

Song of the Day
"I Will Lift my Eyes" by Bebo Norman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhSqJQ9jngs

My Thoughts
My children, as most, usually have a single track going in their mind. Today their track was Jesus' second coming. Lots of questions, hoping I answered them right. But they continually made their desires known that they hope the second coming is soon. "We can all be together in Heaven with all our friends and Grandpa and Grandma". I just kept reminding them that we have a mission to fulfill here on earth and we need to be ready for the second coming while we work on our mission. And they respond with "But I really want to see Jesus."

And on a side note, I can only hope that my children are blessed with such wonderful friends as I have been blessed with. You gals know who you are. In fact, I am saying a novena to St. Therese currently that each of my children would have just a couple really great friends (rather than a whole host of surface friends) who would help them on their journey to Heaven. I am also praying to be relieved from the unnecessary worry and fear that clutters my brain constantly. I would appreciate any prayers as well. Know that I pray for you my blog readers as well.

May 11, 2010

2010-05-11T22:19:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

Song of the Day
"Where I am Going" by Glen Campbell
http://new.music.yahoo.com/glen-campbell/tracks/where-i-am-going--54656899

My Thoughts
My thoughts are kind of running away in my head today, so that is why I need to have a gratitude pow-wow.

I am grateful that . . .
- I got to read a whole huge stack of books with Race Car and Curly.
- Joke-A-Lot and Artsy got to enjoy their sewing and art classes.
- we finished all our school.
- Mr. Fix-It found a nicer bus route home from work.
- I got to play Uno and Go Fish with the three older kids.
- I "caught" Joke-A-Lot doing a Novena to St. Therese all on her own initiative.
- since it was a rainy day, we turned on Oliver Twist and made some popcorn.
- despite the fact that the world can be hard and cruel, my children will always have a loving home to come home to where they will be loved and accepted exactly as they are.
- I made a decent dinner tonight.
- I don't remember yelling at all today.
- Curly was "dry" all day.
- Mr. Fix-it has a nice job with insurance.
- I got to sing Wheels on the Bus with Curly before he went to bed. He had the cutest smile.
- I can get old Matlock episodes from the library for free.
- we are all healthy.
- we have a nice home, bed, clothes, food, etc.
- I have such a wonderful husband.
- we are surrounded by wonderful family both near and far.
- I can stay home and homeschool our children.
- I have a loving God who cares about every detail of my family's lives.

May 10, 2010

2010-05-10T21:41:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"But if I should be delayed, you should know how to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living god, the pillar and foundation of truth."
1 Timothy 15

Song of the Day
"Heart of Worship" by Matt Redman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH-snsXw1as

My Thoughts
Are you having difficulty figuring out what God wants you to do in a certain situation? Fr. Jacques has some great thoughts. Of course, we need to take time if possible to consider all things and try peacefully to allow God to bring us a solution. "We need to pray for the light of the Holy Spirit and the grace to act in conformity with the will of God and, if necessary, to ask the advice of people who can enlighten us relative to this decision." (page 70, Searching for and Maintaining Peace). But then, when we just feel like we don't know what God's will is, what are we to do? He listed a beautiful prayer to pray in these situations. I thought I would share.

"Lord, I have thought about it and prayed to know Your will. I do not see it clearly, but I am not going to trouble myself any further. I am not going to spend hours racking my brain. I am deciding such and such a thing because, all things carefully considered, it seems to me the best thing to do. And I leave everything in Your hands. I know well that, even if I am mistaken, You will not be displeased with me, for I have acted with good intentions. And if I have made a mistake, I know that You are able to draw good from this error. It will be for me a source of humility and I will learn something from it!" Then we can remain at peace.

May 8, 2010

2010-05-08T22:27:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Perfectionism doesn't have much to do with sanctity."
Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Philippe

Song of the Day
"When God Ran" by Phillips, Craig, and Dean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY2f95eDV3A&feature=related

My Thoughts
Legos. Legos. Legos. This is what my mind is thinking about today. They are fascinating little pieces of plastic. All four kids can be completely engrossed in manipulating and formulating them into just the item them they want to make, whether it be a car, truck, church, store, person, house, etc. But all of this bliss can turn on a dime. There just never seems to be enough wheels, windows, doors, or people to go around.

But isn't that the way we are as humans. We can be ticking along just fine until we get blown out of shape because we don't have enough of something. Like right now, I didn't have enough battery left, so I had to leave my comfortable couch to go sit in the cold mudroom. When making a recipe, there is always one ingredient that there isn't enough of. Money, well, we all know there never seems to be enough of that. I never seem to have enough time and I know I am not the only one. And my grand prize winner of "never having enough of it" is
. . . PATIENCE. Some of these things are quick annoyances, but others are chronic concerns.

What do we teach our children when there just aren't enough doors, wheels, windows and people to go around? Make it work! So, I leave you with that thought. Whatever you don't seem to have enough of today, make it work! God is there to help you. Just ask and trust. I know "Easier said than done".

May 5, 2010

2010-05-05T16:55:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear."
Ephesians 4:29

Song of the Day
"Flood" by Jars of Clay
http://s0.ilike.com/play#Jars+Of+Clay:Flood:59038:s2981835.8811065.14492875.0.2.130%2Cstd_635e71f357534e4e8a188cd3b6757f53

My Thoughts
My thoughts today are simple and precise. Words can be used to teach, reprimand, discipline, build up or tear down. Basically, they either help or hurt. Too often, I find myself hurting someone close to me through the use of thoughtless words. I love to talk which sometimes leads to rambling. I talk to my children about not talking just to talk, yet there I continue to talk. Well, I need to heed my own advice. I am really trying to take the super microscope and watch all that comes out of my mouth. I am married to someone completely opposite in nature. He hardly talks at all and loves silence. But when I complain to him that I have yet again stuck my foot in my mouth, he has said more than once "That is why I don't say much, then I don't stick my foot in my mouth." And yes, the two extremes can happily be married together. I just talk constantly, and he nods once in awhile. Just kidding. But there is a healthy middle ground I believe, one where we integrate with healthy conversation, but politely bow out of the conversations that lead down the "negative" road. God wants us to fill our minds with things that are holy, lovely, and pure. He knows what he is doing.

So, join me in really looking at what words leave our mouths in the next 24 hours. I think we might be surprised at what we hear!

May 4, 2010

2010-05-04T21:03:00.002-05:00

Verse of the Day
"and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Song of the Day
Free by Steven Curtis Chapman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTD69JfhMgo

My Thoughts
Manners Matter. I have always told my kids that people notice and appreciate good manners, especially since they seem harder to find these days. Saturday was a great example of this. Artsy and I were at Target. They had a ton of samples, one in particular was tortilla with melted cheese. I asked her if she would like one. "Yes" was the instant reply and so I handed her one. Immediately, she said "Thank you" to the lady. I was just happy that I didn't have to do the "What do you say?" That gets tremendously old, tremendously fast. Then as we were walking away, this middle aged man that had been in front of us and on his way down the aisle eating his tortilla, came back and said "I can learn something from that little girl" and he turned to the lady handing out the tortillas and said "Thank you". He must not have said thank you the first time around and then heard Artsy say it. Very cool that this man took the time to say that, as it really reinforced to Artsy what I always say to her and the other children "Manners Matter".

Then as we checked out, the woman behind me and the manager that happened to be standing there seemed flabbergasted that I had so many groceries "Are those all for one week?" "Yes, these are all for one week." "Do you go through all of that?" "Yes, we go through all of that." Then I explained that I have 4 children and their ages, and I got the normal "WOW" response. Then I said "They are great kids. I love them so much." And that is when the cashier said music to these little ears of mine. "Yes I know her kids. They are so nice and so well behaved." I was really wishing I had my "cassette" tape recorder there, so I could play that at home when I am ready to rip my hair out of my head. The interesting thing is that I don't think things always go that smoothly for us as we plod through Target, but I can only imagine what they must see in other children.

So, for all of you moms who think you might go crazy reminding your children to use their manners yet another time, remember "Manners matter and people notice and appreciate them."

May 1, 2010

2010-05-01T21:02:00.004-05:00

April 30, 2010

2010-04-30T17:21:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be well?'"

Song of the Day
"Thank You" by Ray Boltz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFrdJ2V3r7Y

My Thoughts
Thank you for praying for my dad today while he went to the healing conference. The man that prayed over him, Chris White I believe, spoke healing to his mind as if the Lord spoke to him and told him exactly what was wrong with my dad. My dad had the miracle of experiencing peace from his anxiety for about 10 minutes. He wants to go back again tomorrow. Please keep praying that if it be the Lord's will, he will remove my dad's anxiety.

April 29, 2010

2010-04-29T16:12:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength." March 12:30

Song of the Day
"Look Me in the Eye" by Margaret Becker
http://s0.ilike.com/play#Margaret+Becker:Look+Me+In+The+Eye:2822641:s34521313.9637967.6125552.0.2.135%2Cstd_15b4b34ecf6f4785bc49eb7ffc92ee36

My Thoughts
I always learn the darnedest things in Joke-A-Lots reader, McGuffey's Third Eclectic Reader (as seen on Little House on the Prairie)
Copyright originally 1879
The title was "Courage and Cowardice"

Robert and Henry were going home from school, when, on turning a corner, Robert cried out, "A fight! Let Us go and see!"

"No," said Henry: "let us go quietly home and not meddle with this quarrel. We have nothing to do with it and may get into mischief."

"You are a coward, and afraid to go," said Robert, and off he ran. Henry went straight home, and in the afternoon went to school, as usual.

But Robert had told all the boys that Henry was a coward, and they laughed at him a great deal.

Henry had learned, however, that true courage is shown most in bearing reproach when not deserved, and that he ought to be afraid of nothing but doing wrong.

A few days after, Robert was bathing with some schoolmates, and got out of his depth. He struggled, and screamed for help, but all in vain.

The boys who had called Henry a coward, got out of the water as fast as they could, but they did not even try to help him.

Robert was fast sinking, when Henry threw off his clothes, and sprang into the water. He reached Robert just as he was sinking the last time.

By great effort, and with much danger to himself, he brought Robert to the shore, and thus saved his life.

Robert and his schoolmates were ashamed at having called Henry a coward. They owned that he had more courage than any of them.

Never be afraid to do good, but always fear to do evil.

So, this story led to a great discussion about who we are on earth to please- Our Lord! I explained that we often go to activities with expectations. We usually judge them on how well it went, how excited we felt, how much fun we had, when really we should look at them and discern if our behavior was pleasing to God. So, even if a particular activity wasn't a blast, if we pleased God with our behavior than it was a success for that is to be our primary goal. I also made sure she knew her own Mommy could use this advice very much as well.

April 27, 2010

2010-04-27T13:57:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
Simon said in reply, "Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets." Luke 5:5

Song of the Day
"I Wish You Jesus" by Scott Wesley Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Xz5gaOJwec&feature=related

My Thoughts
The verse of the day made me think of my dad again. We (my dad's family and friends) have worked hard to help my dad and we have caught nothing, not even a glimmer of hope, but we are lowering the nets. He is going to the healing conference as we feel strongly that the Lord is calling him go. If the Lord desires it, my dad will leave and the nets will be full.

I also think of prayer life and wishing I could do better. I really struggled with patience with Artsy today. But why is it so difficult to turn to the Lord at those times to restore our peace. It needs to become a regular part of my prayer life.

One last thought from the book on peace that stuck with me today.
"If we wait until we are saints to have a regular life of prayer, we could wait a long time. On the contrary, it is in accepting to appear before the Lord in our state of sin that we will receive healing and will be transformed little by little, into saints." (page 65 Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques)

April 26, 2010

2010-04-26T16:13:00.006-05:00

Verse of the Day
"I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Song of the Day
"I'll be your hands" by River
Go to this site. There will be a song playing on the bottom of the screen. Turn it off. Then click on "media" at the top of the screen. Then click on "music". Go to #12. You should get an almost 2 minute clip. Reminds me tremendously of my dad whom I will be discussing in my blog. It will probably touch you as well in your lives, worth the extra effort to hear it.
http://www.riverministries.net/

My Thoughts
My dad's 66th birthday is this week. He looks more like he is turning 80. My wonderful aunt is taking him to a healing conference soon. I ask for your prayers for him. I hope the fact that he is willing to go shows enough faith for the Lord to work to heal him in any of the three areas, physical, spiritual, or emotional. He is a train wreck in all three areas. He has been blind since a few days before I was married years ago. When my mom died, he was walking 11 miles a day. Now, 3 years later, he can barely make it to the neighbors house. He has suffered from severe anxiety and depression since my mom died. And I won't share his private spiritual issues, but he has them. He needs to know the love and forgiveness of our Lord in a powerful way. I pray that he will receive this at the healing conference.

Losing my mom at 62 was one thing, but then to switch roles so quickly with my dad too, was certainly something I didn't expect. But I go back to the verse of the day, knowing that God wants to not only give life to my dad but to give it abundantly. And the Lord hasn't abandoned me either, he has left me a beautiful Heavenly mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and a Heavenly Father to grasp onto since my mother isn't alive and my dad isn't mentally present.

On the flip side, I noticed a small, red tractor in our yard today that didn't belong to us. After questioning Race Car, I found out he took it from the neighbors yard. I am so thrilled with myself that I didn't blow a gasket. I calmly asked him what it is called if you take something that doesn't belong to you without permission or paying for it. Then we went into the ten commandments and how it was so important that people don't steal, that it made the top 10. Then we proceeded next door with the tractor in hand. Race Car did good. He was very serious and said "I am sorry. I took this tractor from your yard. I want to give it back to you." The wheel was broken. Thankfully, the boy from their house said it was already broken. Hopefully, I handled this one good and it will be the last experience with stealing. I don't think he wants to next door again and do that.

April 25, 2010

2010-04-25T16:30:00.004-05:00

Verse of the Day
"We know that we belong to God, and the whole world is under the power of the evil one." 2 John 5:19

I didn't have a quote that stuck out to me today, so I said "Okay Lord, I am going to put the first highlighted verse I see as my verse for the day". So, this may not have been my choice, but it must have been God's.

Song of the Day
"I'll Lead You Home" by Michael W. Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcakUX2swGI

My Thoughts

I am currently printing off important things from my old computer, so that we can get rid of it. In its day, it was a fine piece of machinery. But my first computer right out of college, the 165C Mac, has past its glory days. But as I sit here multi-tasking, I have also found the perfect job for Curly. He stands at perfect height to see the papers coming out of the printer and then hands them to me. He is fully entertained at this moment. Praise God!

I am feeling a lack of direction today, so I will keep this short and leave you with one thought from my book.
"We must know that one of the weapons that the devil used most commonly to prevent souls from advancing toward God is precisely to try to make them lose their peace and discourage them by the sight of their faults." (Pg. 63 Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques)

April 24, 2010

2010-04-24T14:25:00.005-05:00

Verse of the Day
"The church throughout all Judea, Galilee, and Samaria was at peace. It was being built up and walked in the fear of the Lord, and with the consolation of the Holy Spirit it grew in numbers." Acts 9:31

Song of the Day
"Everything Falls" by Fee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V11E0VTlmY&feature=related

My Thoughts

Peace as described in the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary has several listings, but the most important for my soul is "freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions". This peace is only found in our Lord, but how to obtain it seems to be my quest right now. My children are young, yet I lose my peace so quickly. I can't imagine what I will be like when they are older if I don't learn how to embrace this peace from our Lord. I know He has it there for the taking despite what life deals out to me.

I think of my life and how much I enjoy it, but yet how much I allow Satan to steal that peace away. It can get extremely frustrating to have a strong desire to react differently to experiences my children go through, but despite that strong desire I continue going down the path that rips my peace away. According to the book on peace that I have mentioned in my earlier blogs, it becomes a question of how to regain our peace as quickly as possible when we have been troubled by our imperfections, therefore avoiding more sadness and discouragement.

The reasons I need to do this are #1) God acts in the peace of one's soul. I loved the verse of the day because the church was in peace and Holy Spirit's consolation was upon them. Was it no surprise that there were so many miracles in the book of Acts? So, peace is essential to allow God to work. "Rather than troubling ourselves, it is more efficacious to regain our peace and let God act." (p 58)

The second reason is that it is more pleasing to God for us to react this way. Fr. Jacques listed a beautiful prayer that I am going to copy to use frequently. I mean what could be better than when we are discouraged and tormented to react by saying this prayer:

"Lord, I ask Your pardon, I have sinned again. This, alas, is what I am capable of doing on my own! But I abandon myself with confidence to Your mercy and Your pardon, I thank You for not allowing me to sin even more grievously. I abandon myself to You with confidence because I know that one day You will heal me completely and, in the meantime, I ask You that the experience of my misery would cause me to be more humble, more considerate of other, more conscious that I can do nothing by myself, but that I must rely solely on Your love and Your mercy."

The third reason is that when we are troubled, the sadness and discouragement are rarely pure, usually pride exists in there somewhere. In fact, this excessive pain is actually a sign that we have put our trust in ourselves - in our own strength and not in God.

I don't know. Maybe by focusing on peace and working to obtain it, I will get better at handing things over to God and over analyzing the kids experiences less. It is as if I wish I could just get my brain to stop thinking sometimes, but I am realizing that isn't the solution. Maybe I need to stop thinking about a certain situation, but I need to start thinking more about God. This blog is helping me to do that. It is just so evident why I felt such a strong call to blog my experience of Lent this past Ash Wednesday - to help me keep my focus where it belongs, on Our Lord!

April 23, 2010

2010-04-23T15:57:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Matthew 14:27

Song of the Day
"Be Not Afraid" by Michael John Talbot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBH-Eh9Bjjg&feature=PlayList&p=0FFD26345FE4A297&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=4

My Thoughts
Parenting isn't for the faint of heart. I struggle continuously with fear and letting go of control, entrusting my children to God daily. To me these are monumental tasks. Today, I even put on my Pope John Paul II bracelet on that says "Be Not Afraid". I get so anxious in regards to certain areas of my children's lives. Gratefully, I have friends that remind me that God does have a mission for each child. He loves them. He is preparing them, so they can successfully complete that mission. I view all situations that aren't perfect as horrible, instead of viewing them as a great opportunity to teach my children how to deal with adversity and quite frankly how to deal with other children that aren't nice. I am an adult and there are still people that simply aren't nice, but how does God want us to handle this?

I went back to my book on peace as I was feeling a definite lack of peace. Interestingly enough, the next section I was on was "Patience Toward Others". I am thinking "Okay Lord, I am listening." I always think that if others would behave better than I would be peaceful and without distress. Well, I will spend my lifetime waiting for that. "How many people lose their peace because they want, at any price, to change those around them!" (page 55) But again, what does the Lord ask us to do? He asks us to bear with patience the faults of others. So often I get upset, but what I need to do is pray for these people. "This patience is all the more important in that it brings about in us a purification that is absolutely indispensable." (page 56)

So, I feel great blogging again. Today while my compulsive head was spinning about one of my children, the 3:00pm alarm went off. Time for the Divine Mercy Chaplet. All the kids gathered round, except Curly who was sleeping. Again, I was reminded of our goal here on earth: To know, love, and serve our Lord in this life, so that we can be forever happy with him in the next. I revelled in that five minutes with Race Car on my lap and Joke-a-Lot and Artsy on either side. Life is good.

April 22, 2010

2010-04-22T08:52:00.003-05:00

I am thinking out loud now. On Ash Wednesday, I felt the Lord calling me to blog about my experience of going through Lent with a family off of sugar. I had no idea why. Can't help but to wish the reason was that my blog was going to be wildly popular and I would end up using this as a source of income. But in reality, God's intentions are clear to me. Doing the blog helped me to focus on the positive things in life and helped me to focus on God. Period. End of Story. That is why I have decided that I need to once again begin blogging. I am still trying to figure out how to adjust things to make it more reasonable. I used to spend 2 hours doing my blog, which is just not possible to sustain long term. Thirty minutes is my goal. I also have another idea for a different blog, more of a monthly blog, but I don't want to let the secret out until I have it set up. This one will stay spiritual in nature. I like the verse of the day and the song of the day. I know the family stories were a hit. Unfortunately, I have probably lost most of my followers since I took such a long break while preparing for Joke-a-Lots First Holy Communion. But true be known, I have to do this for me. I am seeing that this is a necessity for my spiritual walk. Stay tuned for more as I figure out the layout.

April 20, 2010

2010-04-20T20:37:00.003-05:00

I am finally getting back to let you know how Easter went, although I fear many of you are no longer checking. Joke-a-Lot had her First Holy Communion on Saturday, so I have been busily preparing for that. It was an absolutely beautiful day from beginning to end.

As far as Easter goes, they all really enjoyed the sweets. I haven't noticed a huge change in behavior except for Curly. When he has sugar, he acts crazy. Even the girls have picked up on it. One night when we (the girls and I) came home from religion and Curly was in that crazy mode, Joke-a-Lot said "Dad must have given him sugar" and sure enough he had. So, I try to skip the sugar for him giving him Lara bars as his treat. He enjoys those, too.

When pondering what to do with the blog, I am still unsure. I have to admit that doing the blog helped me tremendously to keep my focus on God and on the blessings in my life, but I can't justify the two hours a night it takes me. I have considered doing it once a week, or possibly maintaining it throughout the year with a monthly update and then repeat the daily blogs through Lent again next year. So, all I can say is check back periodically and when I feel more direction I will make it known.

Thank you to all my faithful followers who kept up with me during Lent. It was really fun and spiritually enriching for me.

April 4, 2010

2010-04-04T21:12:00.005-05:00

Song of the Day
He's Alive by Don Francisco
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbSnk1R31vg

I am so exhausted today. I will be back soon to tell you how everything went with Easter, but not today.

Divine Mercy Chaplet

THIRD DAY

"Today bring to Me ALL DEVOUT AND FAITHFUL SOULS and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. These souls brought Me consolation on the Way of the Cross. They were that drop of consolation in the midst of an ocean of bitterness."

Most Merciful Jesus, from the treasury of Your mercy, You impart Your graces in great abundance to each and all. Receive us into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart and never let us escape from It. We beg this grace of You by that most wondrous love for the heavenly Father with which Your Heart burns so fiercely.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon faithful souls, as upon the inheritance of Your Son. For the sake of His sorrrowful Passion, grant them Your blessing and surround them with Your constant protection. Thus may they never fail in love or lose the treasure of the holy faith, but rather, with all the hosts of Angels and Saints, may they glorify Your boundless mercy for endless ages. Amen.

April 3, 2010

2010-04-03T22:39:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you." James 4:10

Songs of the Day
Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCezEbaMHdA

Humble Thyself in the Sight of the Lord by Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU8MAQKSbEI

Food
This Lent was successful. They will thoroughly enjoy their sweets tomorrow. I haven't had refined sugar in 4.5 years, so I will continue with my journey of recovery. I am one of those people who does not respond positively to sugar. It causes too much obsessive thinking within me, whereas now I am free from that.

"Stuff" Detachment
I cleaned out another cupboard and got rid of things that I haven't used EVER.

Spiritual Growth

I will continue with the Divine Mercy Novena. See Good Friday for a further explanation of this. I thought parts of the Jars of Clay song above went well with this novena.

SECOND DAY
"Today bring to Me THE SOULS OF PRIESTS AND RELIGIOUS, and immerse them in My unfathomable mercy. It was they who gave Me strength to endure My bitter Passion. Through them as through channels My mercy flows out upon mankind."

Most Merciful Jesus, from whom comes all that is good, increase Your grace in men and women consecrated to Your service, that they may perform worthy works of mercy; and that all who see them may glorify the Father of Mercy who is in heaven.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the company of chosen ones in Your vineyard - upon the souls of preists and religious; and endow them with the strength of Your blessing. For the love of the Heart of Your son in which they are enfolded, impart to them Your power and light, that they may be able to guide others in the way of salvation and with one voice sing praise to Your boundless mercy for ages without end. Amen.

April 2, 2010

2010-04-02T22:06:00.003-05:00

Being that today is Good Friday, I am going to depart from the norm. Today is the day that many people start the novena to the Divine Mercy. Understanding that many of you may not be familiar with what a novena is in general and particularly what the Divine Mercy novena is, I thought I would do my best to explain.

Taken from EWTN (Eternal World Television Network) website http://www.ewtn.com/index.asp, a novena is a nine-day period of private or public prayer to obtain special graces, to implore special favors, or to make special petitions. (Novena is derived from the Latin "novem", meaning nine.) As the definition suggests, the novena has always had more of a sense of urgency and neediness.

The Nine days represents the nine days of prayer performed by the apostles as they waited for the coming of the Holy Spirit after Jesus' ascension.

The Divine Mercy Novena is my absolute favorite. On Good Friday, 1937, Jesus requested that St. Faustina make a special novena before the Feast of Mercy, from Good Friday through the following Saturday. He, himself, dictated the intentions for each day. By means of a specific prayer she was to bring to His Heart a different group of souls each day and thus immerse them in the ocean of His mercy, begging the Father - on the strength of Jesus' Passion - for graces for them.

Each year, the Sunday after Easter is Divine Mercy Sunday thanks to Pope John Paul II declaring it such. Not by coincidence, Pope John Paul II actually died on the feast of Divine Mercy, April 2, 2005. Today is the anniversary of his death, but I believe he will become a saint and then today will be called his feast day, the day he entered into Heaven. This is clear in my memory because today is also Joke-A-Lot's 8th birthday, so I remember him dying on her birthday, but also remember how crazy it was that it was also Divine Mercy Sunday, the day that he declared.

Our Lord described a very specific image of himself to St. Faustina which I will display on my page during this novena period from today until the Sunday after Easter. This image must say "Jesus I trust in you" below it and it will have two rays representing the showering of the depths of His mercy upon us.

It is recommended to say this novena with the actual Divine Mercy Chaplet, but I am going to keep things simple and state the daily prayers.

The Novena to the Divine Mercy

First Day of the Novena
"Today bring to Me ALL MANKIND, ESPECIALLY ALL SINNERS, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

April 1, 2010

2010-04-01T22:19:00.004-05:00

Verse of the Day
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

Song of the Day
In the Light by DC Talk
http://www.rhapsody.com/player?type=undefined&id=alb.7149801&remote=undefined&page=undefined&pageregion=undefined&guid=undefined&from=undefined&__pcode=

Food
Curly pulled a fast one today. When I was getting his haircut another kid was screaming, so then Curly joined in the party and started screaming. Soooo, he got a yummy sugared sucker. Seemed to soothe him just fine, yet another exception.

"Stuff" Detachment
We have a nice pair of girls clogs that for some reason the girls don't like, so I will donate them, along with a rosary and a couple belts.

Spiritual Growth
I am not feeling much spiritual growth right now. I just went in the kitchen to find out that the water container thing in the refrigerator was leaking all over. Recall that I just cleaned out the entire fridge yesterday. It was all over the floor, under the refrigerator, in all the fridge drawers. I completely blew a gasket and there was Mr. Fix-it sound asleep through it all despite my requests for help. He never heard a word. In fact, water continues to be under the refrigerator because I can't move it. So, I once again see my sin before me, to completely lose my cool over something so minuscule.

On a more positive note, since it was Holy Thursday and we had some colds in the family, we decided to stay home from church. But tonight before bed, I read the reading from the Bible about when Jesus washed the disciples feet at the last supper. Now, all the children had already had a bath, so they didn't need their feet washed, but after the reading, I did rub lotion on their feet and then kissed each of their feet. Other than the giggles because they are so ticklish, they loved it and asked if we could do that again. I would rather have done the actual feet washing, but this worked okay for this year.

Book Discussion
Title: Searching for and Maintaining Peace
Author: Fr. Jacques Philippe
Section: The Faults and Shortcomings of Others

This was a fabulous section for me. "It often happens that we lose our peace not because suffering affects us or threatens to affect us personally, but rather because of the behavior of an individual person or group of persons who hurt us or preoccupy us. . . Or, more simply, in everyday life, one becomes irritated, because one close to him behaves in a way that he imagines he should not behave. How many nervous tensions are due to this type of situation!" Nervous tension is exactly what I would call my previous reactions to my neighbor kid.

"Because the thing that we want is good, even seen as desired by God, we feel justified in wanting it with that much more impatience and displeasure if it is not realized. The more a thing seems good to us, the more we are agitated and preoccupied to realize it! . . . That is to say that our wanting must always be caring, peaceful, patient, detached and abandoned to God. It should not be an impatient wanting, hurried, restless, irritated, etc. In the spiritual life it is often there that our attitude is defective."

"A desire that causes us to lose peace, even if the thing desired is excellent in itself, is not of God. It is necessary to want and desire, but in a free and detached way, in abandoning to God the realization of these desires, as He desires and when He wishes."

Next Section: Patience Towards Others

Prayer:
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for today and help us all to have a good and holy Triduum. Help us to continue to show your love in all that we do. Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Tortillas with cheese and ham, fruit cup (grapes, grapefruits, oranges)

Lunch: Pepperoni pizza, pears

Dinner: Hodge Podge of leftovers

March 31, 2010

2010-03-31T23:04:00.004-05:00

Verse of the Day
"On the eve of our life we will be judged by how much we loved." Saint John of the Cross

Song of the Day
Prayer by Petra
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSw0DdMmXWQ&feature=related
I would listen to this after you read the prayer below.

Food
I think the natives are restless. Artsy was running around the house today talking about how she can't wait to eat all the Easter treats. I better work on helping her focus on the real meaning of Easter. It isn't about being able to eat sugar. Maybe that was a detriment to giving up sugar.

"Stuff" Detachment
A refrigerator magnet, a crummy onesie that always fell off of Curly's shoulder, and a cracker holder thing a ma jig all departed from my home today.

Spiritual Growth
My growth today was in my trust in God. I was fretting last night as I went to sleep about how I don't want to have to deal with the neighbor kid and his friends again, also wondering if the boy across the street was going to knock on our door a hundred times, just wishing I could enjoy the day with the kids. It was the first day in a long time with nothing on the schedule. Well, guess what? The worrying was a complete waste of energy. It was a beautiful day. No problems with the neighbors. The boy across the street didn't come over even once, it was 73 degrees, and we went for a walk. I got to work on school with the kids, but also got outside with them for a bit. I even cleaned the refrigerator inside and out after they all went to bed. I couldn't have asked for a better day, except that I didn't get to Mass. Curly woke up with a snotty nose, so I thought it best to stay away.

Book Discussion
Title: Searching for and Maintaining Peace
Author: Fr. Jacques Philippe
Section: In All People Who Suffer There is Jesus

As Jesus says in Matthew 25:40 "Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me." Well, this is especially true of the suffering. Jesus is there. We need to try our best to relieve suffering, but to view it with hope. In 1Thessalonians 4:13, it says do not "grieve as other people do who have no hope." It is that underlying trust again, that the Lord has the big picture all figured out.

Tomorrow's section: The Faults and Shortcomings of Others

Prayer
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for the gift of such a beautiful day. I guess our crummy days help us all the more to enjoy our beautiful days. Today, I would like to pray for those reading this blog and especially for the neighbor boy and his friends. Show me how to love them and teach me how to pray for them. I pray that you will bring a great role model into their lives who can lead them to you Lord. I hear their ACDC music cranked and think of my own days in the past where I also cranked ACDC and even went to their concert (along with many others that I am not too proud of). You have restored me and renewed me. Please restore and renew them in your perfect time. Amen.

WOW! Again I sit here with tears. God keeps doing this to me. I started this blog late. I had the song above in my song list and decided to use it for no real reason. I didn't listen to it today as I had already done so in the past. I proceeded through this blog all the way until I was writing the food down and decided to listen to the song as I wrote the food. I was stopped dead in my tracks. It is almost as if a small miracle has occurred. As I was writing the prayer above, I was brought back to days of old, thinking of all of the terrible concerts I went to. I don't even care to mention the bands. Although, I was never disrespectful like the kids next door, I could have easily been taken down the wrong road. And to my friend, KK, I am ever so grateful as her teaching of the Bible to me in college is what lead me back to the Lord. At that point, I was taking steps away from God every day.

Now as I just listened to this song, it seemed to fit with everything I was feeling, the gratitude to the Lord for what he has done in my life, the need to stay focused on the work we have to do here on earth, etc. I fear those of you reading this may fail to see the connection, but there is a clear connection for me in regards to the kids next door, especially the first couple sentences and then the second verse after the chorus (starts "Let me be the evidence . . .). Then the third verse relates to the Verse of the Day, which I hadn't planned either. This even coincides with the verses in the Book Discussion. For the first time EVER, I actually feel a bit of love for those kids. Isn't that crazy? I am thinking maybe God wants us here next door because he knows we will get down on our knees and pray for them. Who knows? I may be complaining about them again tomorrow, but for today I am going to pray. And I thought this would be a short blog tonight. You just never know what God has planned. I love that when he surprises me.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Special K Protein Plus cereal with whole milk, fruit cup (grapes, grapefruits and oranges)

Lunch: Toasted cheese (Nature's Pride 100% whole wheat double fiber with marble jack cheese and butter), Amy's Organic Tomato Bisque Soup with rotini noodles

Dinner: Ham steak, mashed potatoes (made with potatoes, milk, butter), canned pineapple in own juice, canned green beans, corn

March 30, 2010

2010-03-30T20:52:00.006-05:00

Verse of the Day
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Song of the Day
Immanuel by Michael Card
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-vTQqbofuM&NR=1
Oddly, this is one of my favorite Christmas songs, so why I am sharing it now, I am not quite sure. But I never hear it on the radio during the Christmas season, even the Christian stations, and I wonder why? It is so beautiful. This was the best clip of the song I could find.

Food
The food continues to go well. The toughest sell throughout this season has been Mr. Fix-it. I am quite sure he can't wait to be face first in a hot fudge sundae. I did make some oatmeal raisin cookies. I used the recipe on the Market Pantry oatmeal container, except that I took out the two sugars and replaced it with 3/4 cup mashed banana, 3/4 cup applesauce, and 3 packets of Stevia. The good news was that Mr. Fix-it didn't throw it away. The bad news was that he never had another one. They did all disappear and quite honestly I didn't care how many they ate. There really wasn't anything bad in them, oatmeal, bananas, unsweetened applesauce, butter, vanilla, eggs, raisins, Stevia.

"Stuff" Detachment
I have to come clean and confess that I was not religious about getting rid of my three things a day while on my "blog break". But, I did make up for it today by filling up another garbage bag full.

Spiritual Growth
Today was a beautiful day filled with many twists and turns. I hosted a Lenten Tea this morning with two other wonderful families. One mother just had her 7th baby. Although most of her children were able to come, she couldn't make it as her newborn ended up going to the hospital. Thankfully, baby will be okay. The other mother is in town visiting her family. She brought her 4 beautiful girls. So, excitement and noise were not absent.

I set my table as beautifully as I could. Since we were actually doing the Good Friday tea early, I had red candles, but the rest had more of a lilac theme. There were several foods present all representing a part of Christs' passion. So, the older girls took turns reading scripture out of the Bible, then they were able to taste the item that went with the reading. It is kind of hard to explain. Here are two links that show pictures and everything. This is what we followed today.
http://showerofroses.blogspot.com/2009/04/lenten-tea-on-good-friday.html
and
http://alice.typepad.com/cottage_blessings/2006/04/a_second_lenten.html

Then after that fun morning, I had more frustration with my neighbor boy and his friends. They are about 12 and think it is okay to drive their conversion van in and out of the driveway, backing in way to close to our fence. Also got to enjoy their ACDC music cranked. This happens every spring. I hate it, yet the other night when one of the friends yelled something to me as I was driving by, I realized something.(Keep in mind, I have never even talked to this kid, so why he is yelling I have no idea. They have no respect for any of the neighbors.) I realized that this is what the Lord is talking about. It is easy to love my family, but He is calling me to love them AND pray for them, which I really haven't done much. So, this has been added to the nightly prayers.

Book Discussion
Book: Searching for and Maintaining Peace
Author: Fr. Jacques Philippe
Section: Attitude When Confronted With the Suffering of Those Close to Us

"We sometimes feel more troubled and preoccupied by the suffering of a friend or a child than by our own suffering."

"How much excessive anxiety sometimes reigns in families when a member is tested in matters of health, unemployment, depression, etc. How many parents torment themselves over a problem concerning one of their children, for example."

I witnessed this just today, when I saw a behavior in Artsy that was completely out of character for her. She is my "love to dress up as a princess and play tea party" girl, so while some of the girls were playing dress up, out of nowhere she pretends she has a gun and is getting Joke-A-Lot. Now, this caused a lot of anxiety at first. My poor friend who had to listen to me lament about what was going on with my daughter, helped me figure out where this came from. The little boy across the street. She certainly didn't learn this in our home. But do you know when the anxiety departed from my soul? When I realized that this happened for a reason, an early signal of sorts. It was as if God was opening my eyes, so that I could take some action. I am not sure how much, but I am going to significantly reduce the amount of time they spend together. To be honest, I wanted to do that anyway. When I see just my four kids in the backyard playing, it is fabulous. I see them usually doing so well together, always watching out for and playing with the little guy, Curly. And when I have other close families over, there is this same camaraderie. But when the other little boy is over the dynamic is completely different, it is like someone set them on fire, there is no cohesiveness, just wild craziness, with Curly on his own. Mr. Fix-it says that all little boys play war and stuff. And we do have water guns which I always enjoyed as a kid. He still thinks there isn't a problem, but I am going to go with my gut on this one since I am home with them all the time and witness far more than he does. Curious if anyone else has any thoughts on this one?

I am going to end this section with a fabulous quote from this section. It is long, but it is good.
"On the contrary, our compassion for ourselves is often disturbed and anxious. We have a way of implicating ourselves in the suffering of others that is not always correct, that sometimes proceeds more from a love of self than from a true love of others. And we believe that to preoccupy ourselves excessively with another in difficulty is justified, that it is a sign of the love that we feel for the other person. But this is false. There is often in this attitude a great, hidden love of ourselves. We cannot bear the suffering of others because we are afraid of suffering ourselves. The reason is that we, too, lack confidence in God. . . if we torment ourselves to the point of losing our peace, this signifies that our love for the other person is still not fully spiritual, is still not in harmony with God. . . In order for it to be a true Christian virtue, compassion for others must proceed from love (desiring good for others) and not from fear (fear of suffering, fear of losing something)."

He closes by saying that we should persevere in prayers and petitions for healing for these people and help as possible, but always in a spirit of peace and confident abandonment into the hands of God.

Next section: In All People Who Suffer There is Jesus

Prayer
Dear Lord,
You know the things that wear at our soul and try to steal our peace. Please fill us with strength and confidence in you. Help us to pray for those who persecute us and love our enemies. So many times Lord, I just get mad instead of turning to you in prayer and seeking your guidance.

As I am coming to the end of my Lenten journey, I also ask for your guidance with this blog. I am sure that this blog was your will. I have grown immensely and hope others have too, but please make it abundantly clear what you would have me do after Easter Sunday.

Help us to know, love and serve you in this world, so we can enjoy you forever in the next. Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Since the lenten tea was this morning and Curly slept late, everyone but Artsy skipped breakfast. She made herself peanut butter toast.

Lunch: Peanut butter sandwiches, strawberries

Dinner: Chili, tortillas with melted cheese, strawberries and fruit cup (grapes, oranges, and grapefruits)

Not the best day nutritionally. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

March 25, 2010

2010-03-25T20:58:00.003-05:00

I will temporarily be away from my blog. I have a paper that is due this weekend for the graduate class I took. I haven't written one word yet. So, I am hoping to be back on by Sunday or Monday at the latest. I really want to blog during holy week. God's Blessings on all of you.

March 24, 2010

2010-03-24T21:18:00.004-05:00

Verse of the Day
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, . . .Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you a drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'" Matthew 25:31-40

Song of the Day
Blest are They by David Haas
It is really nice and again follows the theme which is the poor. For some reason, the first time I listened to the song, it took awhile to download. I just let it completely download before I listened to it. The second time it was fine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chqY9S1Lm2w

Food
I let the kids have the normal salad dressing with the sugar. I have given up in that area. I can't find anything the family likes. I have tried.

I would also like to say that the kids are eating me out of house and home. I would never have guessed what good healthy meals they would eat by only taking out the sugar. I know, sometimes they aren't the most healthy, but I am doing my best.

"Stuff" Detachment
Can I count the item that I already threw out, but Artsy took it out of the garbage? I threw it away again. I also got rid of a pair of Curly's socks. Unfortunately, he took one of his shoes off when he was outside, then walked through the garage stepping in the oil pan that is usually under Mr. Fix-it's car. Bummer.

Spiritual Growth
Today was the coolest day. I went with kids to a local Lutheran church. They were sponsoring a day for Kids Against Hunger. We began by bringing Curly to the nursery. Unfortunately, as soon as he went in the little tunnel another girl growled at him and scared him half to death. So, I left carrying a screaming baby and 3 other kids to begin our mission. I'm thinking that things are not really going so hot at this point. Thankfully, I had the umbrella stroller, cheese-its, and a sippy of water. We proceeded into church adorning our beautiful hair nets. We watched a brief video about the organization. Onward to our station. There we, along with about 50 other people, assembled about 10,200 meals within an hour to be shipped to Haiti. Six meals were in a pack and the packs were sealed and boxed along with special art work that the kids brought. Artsy made a ton of paper fans all decorated since it is so hot in Haiti. We also enclosed a picture of the four kids. It was really a fabulous experience. Kids as young as four can work on the assembly line. So, what are you wondering, was Curly doing? He sat happy as a clam in his stroller by our table just watching all the action around him. The other mom's were commenting about what a good little boy. The other three kids took turns, scooping either rice, crushed soy, dehydrated veges, or the chicken flavor vitamin supplement.

When I sat watching the video at the beginning, it felt like God was pounding me over the head saying "Why don't you do this at your church once a year?" I felt really convicted. Something like this is totally up my alley, but of course the fear is there. How in the world could I get something like that organized and homeschool the kids, along with all the other stuff of life? I will continue to pray and learn more about what it would take and then start taking small steps praying that if it isn't the Lord's will, He would block the path. But then I think, how could it not be the Lord's will? Those children that receive that meal will get one cup for the whole day and most of them will try to somehow save half of it for their parents, if they have parents, because they know they don't have food either. The church also has to raise the money for the food, which is $0.23/serving. I have a free video to watch as well that Jason Davis from Channel 5 did in Port-Au-Prince, Haiti two years before the hurricane. Now the need is obviously so much greater. Here is the link if anyone wants to just check it out or read the founder's story. It is neat. http://www.kidsagainsthunger.org/

The kids were so excited, up and dressed before I even woke them up. Joke-A-Lot wanted to do more shifts. She became very competitive, somewhat like her mother, while we were bagging. If Artsy or Race Car paused for even a second or got distracted, she was all over them. She wanted to get as many meals done as possible. It is hard to find service opportunities for kids when they are young and this was a gem. Thank you God for leading us to this place. Just so happened a mom at Artsy's dance class last Saturday told me all about it.

Book Discussion
Sorry, putting it off again, want to get to bed.

Prayer
Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for the wonderful opportunity we had today. Your hand was upon it from the minute that woman told me about it. Thank you for keeping Curly company while I worked with the other three. How else could he have been content just sitting in his stroller for over an hour? I ask for your guidance on whether you are calling me to bring this to our parish. Also, please bless those that are reading my blog today. Help them to feel your closeness and your power this day. We all love you and seek to know you better. Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Flour tortilla with scrambled eggs and melted cheese, cantaloupe

Lunch: Toasted cheese sandwich, Amy's organic tomato soup with rotini noodles

Dinner: Pasta dish with penne pasta, ground beef, classico spicy red pepper sauce, tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, salad, dinner rolls

March 23, 2010

2010-03-23T18:38:00.002-05:00

No Blog tonight. Mr. Fix-it asked me on a date, which consists of getting the kids to bed and watching a rerun of Matlock. First things first. I'll be back tomorrow.

March 22, 2010

2010-03-22T14:03:00.010-05:00

Today's blog is in memory of my mom whose 66th birthday would have been today. Happy Birthday Mama!

Verse of the Day
"The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.
In green pastures you let me graze;to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength.
You guide me along the right path for the sake of your name.
Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage.
You set a table before me as my enemies watch; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Only goodness and love will pursue me all the days of my life; I will dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come." Psalm 23 1-6

I know I chose this verse a few days ago, but I am choosing it again. This was the psalm today at church. I vividly remember after my mom died, my dad getting these cards from this woman at his church almost daily for probably two weeks. This verse was always in the cards. Being that he is legally blind, I read most of his cards to him. Looking back, I am sure God was comforting me at the same time.

Song of the Day
Angels Among Us by Alabama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey0HrEvh44c

About 11 years before my mom died, I convinced her to go on a retreat that really impacted my life. I wanted her to have the same experience. She was willing. I brought her there. They made accommodations to help make her comfortable as her health was starting to decline. I stayed and helped out in the kitchen and stuff, but she didn't know that. When they welcomed us helpers in, this song was playing. She was so touched that I was there working. After that retreat, I would find little white paper angels pop up everywhere. This became the song where we connected.

When I got married, I gave her a silver angel jewelry case and engraved it "Remember, there are always angels among us." We know the Bible talks about real angels that exist. "No evil shall befall you, no affliction come near your tent. For God commands the angels to guard you in all your ways. With their hands they shall support you, lest you strike your foot against a stone." Psalm 91:10-12. But it is also common to in gest call people angels because they are there for you through really difficult times, etc. My mom was an angel to me in this sense. Her character, her love, her joy, and her faith propel me to work not at doing more, but "being" more, really "being" in the present moment and enjoying all that it has to offer. The things she has said to me in the past continue to run through my head, encouraging me at every turn. Even though she is dead physically, she continues to influence who I am and where I want to go. I was very blessed.

Food
I always seem to find excuses. Since we always go out to eat with my dad on my mom's birthday, I did allow the kids to have a sugared drink and a dessert. Joke-A-Lot was hesitant since it is a lenten sacrifice. She asked "Do you think Jesus would have it?" I said "Yes". Hope that was the right response. How the heck do I know if Jesus would have the ice cream or not?

"Stuff" Detachment
I cleared out the shelf in the bathroom closet. Threw a bunch of stuff out that I never use. Also, let go of a baby toy.

Spiritual Growth
Artsy got up today and put on her best outfit, beautiful yellow dress, sweater and yellow hat because it was Grandma's birthday. She decided to make a card and leave it out for her. We headed to Mass. Artsy went up to the altar to see if the last heart she placed there was "taken by Jesus" and it was. Curly seems to do something cute every time we go. Today, he kept saying "Hi Jesus. Hi Jesus". The girls wanted to get a present for Grandma, so I said we could pool our money and have a Mass prayed for her. So, we did.

The Divine Mercy Chaplet was cool again because Race Car wanted to lead it. He could even say the Apostle's Creed. I couldn't believe it. And they just cuddle so close. I don't want these years to end.

I want to end this section with a quote from 1 Corinthians 13:
"If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. . .So faith, hope, love remain, these three; bu the greatest of these is love."

This is something that has really struck me lately. I can try and do everything "right" in this world and Lord knows we all have a lot to do, but if it isn't done with love we are a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. I don't want to be a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. I heard enough clashing cymbals growing up with a drummer for a brother, I don't want to be one. And just today, when I keep this in the back of my head, I notice myself linger just a couple seconds longer when I look at my kids. And what a delight to really make good eye contact with them. I am so often yelling from another room or talking while washing dishes. My mom showed me how to love. I have a clear vision of what love looks like in my head and for that I am grateful. Thankfully, whether we have someone in our lives like that or not, we can all just keep looking up to the cross, the ultimate vision of love.

Thanks for bearing with me as I ponder my mom on her birthday. I did not play a game with the kids today which was my challenge from yesterday. Boy, I am not very good at accomplishing my own challenges, BUT we did crawl in bed and read the book about my mom that I had made after she died. It was fun to reminisce.

Prayer
Dear Lord,
You are Love. Help us to sleep, eat, work and play with a heart of love. Guide us safely through this next day and help all of us make the time to play a game with our kids. Amen.

Book Discussion
I will continue soon.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk,bananas, and cinnamon (I should really try the steel cut oats. They are much better for you.), Jones sausage patties

Lunch: Peanut butter sandwiches, vege tray with dip, strawberries

Dinner: "Not Healthy Alert" Culvers fried walleye, french fries, sugared soda, and concrete mixer for the girls, hamburgers, fries, sugared drink and ice cream for the boys (except Curly had water).

March 21, 2010

2010-03-21T21:20:00.002-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8

Song of the Day
Thou Lovely Source of True Delight by Jars of Clay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T7CxwWXiow
This song proved interesting. I never heard it until just now. Didn't care for it at first, but it grew on me. Then I realized that after writing the quote above, this song was perfect as there are beautiful flowers to gaze upon. I am thinking it is meant to touch someones soul out there.

Food
Artsy was excited when she remembered there was still some of the Stevia sweetened Banana cake left. A couple bites in, she said "Mama, it really isn't so good. It tastes like flour." So, we will just toss that recipe in the garbage.

"Stuff" Detachment
I didn't want to, but I stopped blogging to go through the craft bin. I threw a boat load of stuff out and reorganized it. These small steps work for me.

Spiritual Growth
I took the time to sit with the children and play Rummikub. That was spiritual growth for me. It is good for my soul to take the time to play with the kids, to listen and laugh with the kids, and to really look at them and watch them. It's beautiful. I need to do it more often. That leads me to a challenge. Let's make a commitment to take the time to play a game with our children on Monday. You must laugh and smile. It is a requirement! Anyone want to join me? Enjoying these lives that have been entrusted to us by God feeds our souls.

Book Discussion
I am going to defer for another day.

Prayer
Dear Lord,
You know our struggles whether it is with our spouse, children, job, finances, parents, or health. Please come to all of us in these troubling times that all of us can face. Show your power in these situations as we try to do our best to trust and let you take control. We love you and want to serve you in this life and be happy with you in the next. Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Peanut butter toast, blueberries (Artsy made it.)

Lunch: Scrambled eggs, bacon, pears, strawberries, and baked apples with cinnamon

Dinner: Chuck roast, potatoes, carrots, onions, corn, strawberries, pears

March 20, 2010

2010-03-20T22:37:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Do not conform yourself to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2

Song of the Day
We Belong to God by ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owP7FwQyekE&feature=related
I had a hard time finding this song, so it isn't the best recording, but the words are on the screen, so focus on the words. I have loved this song for a long time. It coincides with the verse of the day, too.

Food
Joke-A-Lot had a birthday party where she very much enjoyed a mint dilly bar.

"Stuff" Detachment
Mr. Fix-It threw away enough for the both of us. The problem with him throwing things away is that he throws away whatever is currently in his way without regard to whether it is actually something we should keep it or not. Makes me insane. I guess I am not making much of a dent with my three things a day. But I will continue to plow forward anyway.

Spiritual Growth
If you read yesterdays blog, you probably remember how the Song of the Day came about, a blunt blow, hadn't though of the song in years. I continue to see God's hand on this blog. I received an email today from a friend who was having trouble calming some spiritual fear in her child. Clearly, the song of the day was for them. It was absolutely perfect, yet I didn't know at the time. The words were such a comfort to both her and her child. Thank you Jesus. What an honor to have you working through this blog! The words from yesterday's song that seemed especially striking were "Mercy said no, I'm not going to let you go. I am not going to let you slip away. You don't have to be afraid." She was able to play this song for her child, to reassure the child that God's love and mercy are far greater than the power of the evil one.

I once heard it explained this way. Picture the ocean like God's mercy. Now, picture all of our sin along with that of everyone in this world past, present, and future. God's mercy is so over-flowing that just a single drop of that ocean would cover all of that sin. Amazing. Gives us a glimmer into the unfathomable, doesn't it?

Book Discussion
I am going to pass on this tonight, just feeling extra tired. Tomorrow's section title is "Attitude When Confronted With the Suffering of Those Close to Us". Should be a good one.

Prayer
Dear Lord,
How amazing are you works! That you would place that song in my head, so that my friend and child might be comforted through it. Thank you for leading me to the book about peace Lord. It has been such a strength to me and even just this week when I placed my trust in you in a certain area, you provided me with exactly what I needed. Thank you, Jesus. Please bless those reading this blog with an increased measure of faith and again as requested yesterday, please shower your mercy upon us all. Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk, mashed bananas, and cinnamon

Lunch: Lipton noodle soup, peanut butter sandwiches

Dinner: Pizza Hut pizza (kids earn free personal pizza's through the Book-It program as a reward for reading a certain amount), fruit cup (grapes, grapefruit, and oranges)

Snack: Popcorn made on the stove with corn oil and salted

March 19, 2010 Happy St. Joseph's Day!

2010-03-19T22:14:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Happy are the pure in heart; they shall see God." Matthew 5:8

Song of the Day
Mercy Said No by Greg Long
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E4hFUDwZHw
As you read the Book Discussion, you will see how God threw this song into my head out of nowhere. So cool! And again, the date is January 19th, 2008, the one year anniversary of my mom's death. Seems a little strange that January 19th keeps popping up everywhere.

Food
Since it is St. Joseph's Feast Day, the church lifted our Lenten sacrifices for today. We had lunch at a friends house. She had cookies, the girls each had two and Race Car said "No thank you." Remember, sweets have been few and far between and he says "No, thank you." Then my kind friend sent three more home with me. Tonight at dinner, I offered each of them one of those cookies and one of the cookies they had received earlier in Lent (in the freezer). The girls and curly enjoyed them thoroughly. Race Car tried one of them and asked to save the other one. Huh? Can he really be one of my descendants?

"Stuff" Detachment
Guess what I found under the girls bed? The item of Joke-A-Lot's that I threw away yesterday. Artsy saw it and pulled it our of the garbage. I wasn't kidding when I said Artsy has a hard time detaching from stuff. Let's see, today I threw away an old plastic cup, a small useless funnel, and a book.

Spiritual Growth
We did our Family Formation packet tonight. Joke-A-Lot kept asking what exactly Mercy was. I kept trying, but even until the end of the discussion, I could see that it didn't click. I explained that Jesus showed Mercy when he suffered and died on the cross for our sins when he didn't do anything to deserve it. But just now I looked up the definition and this is what I found as a definition for mercy:

"A moral virtue that prompts its owner to have compassion for and to succour those in spiritual or temporal want."

I looked up succour as well, it means to help in a difficult situation. So, my question to any of you who would like to attempt, how do you explain mercy to an almost 8 year old girl? If you have an idea, you can either leave me a comment so others can also learn or email me if you have my address.

Book Discussion
Title: Searching for and Maintaining Peace
Author: Fr. Jacques Philippe
Section: The Lord is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want

Yesterday, I put Psalm 23 as my verse of the day. This psalm is clear that the Lord has left us wanting for nothing. Yet, we are prone to succumb to the temptation of believing that our situation has left us lacking something that prevents us from progressing spiritually.

"I am concentrated on the negatives of my situation, on that which I lack in order to be happy. This renders me unhappy, envious and discouraged and I am unable to go forward. The real life is elsewhere, I tell myself, and I simply forget to live. Oftentimes it would take so little for everything to be different and for me to progress with giant steps: A different outlook, a view of my situation which is one of confidence and hope (based on the certitude that I will lack nothing). And then doors would open to me of unhoped-for possibilities for spiritual growth."

"It is not the exterior circumstances that must change; it is above all our hearts that must change."

"Our minds are sometimes so clouded over by that which is not going well, by that which (according to our own criteria!) should be different in our situations, that we forget the positive."

"The fundamental problem is that we employ too much of our own criteria as to what is and what is not good and we don't have enough confidence in the Wisdom and Power of God."

"Many of the circumstances that I consider damaging could, in fact, be for me, if I had more faith, precious opportunities to love more: to be more patient, more humble, more gentle, more merciful and to abandon myself more into the hands of God."

"God may allow me to occasionally lack money, health, abilities and virtues, but He will never leave me in want of Himself, of His assistance and His mercy or of anything (song of the day just popped into my head, amazing how God does that!)that would allow me to grow unceasingly ever closer to Him, to love Him more intensely, to better love my neighbor and to achieve holiness."

I know that was a lot of quotes, but they were so meaningful.

Prayer:
Dear Lord,
Some days the theme of the blog really comes out strong and on others it doesn't, but today the message was clear Your Divine Mercy! Praise you dear Jesus! Thank you for the tremendous gift of your mercy to us and help us to in turn show that mercy to others (even those who work for our flex benefits who frustrate me to no end). If you can send down such mercy upon us, we can work to shower it upon others. Thank you dear Jesus! Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Smuckers natural peanut butter on either Natural Ovens Brainy Bagels or Nature's Pride 100% whole wheat double fiber bread, whole milk (running late, had to get going)

Lunch: Ate at friends house: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, ham and cheese sandwiches, tortillas and salsa, mandarin oranges, and cookies

Dinner: Angel hair pasta, Classico Red Pepper sauce, take and bake ciabatta roll, Wisconsin Sausage Company meatballs (Mr. Fix-it said they were average. We are on the search for some good meatballs that Mom On A Mission doesn't have to make), cookies

March 18, 2010

2010-03-18T22:33:00.003-05:00

Verse of the Day
"The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.
In green pastures you let me graze;to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength.
You guide me along the right path for the sake of your name.
Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage.
You set a table before me as my enemies watch; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Only goodness and love will pursue me all the days of my life; I will dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come." Psalm 23 1-6

Song of the Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plx5HLi7HHs
"He gives the strength to rise above through the power of His love", thought this was an encouragment. You will see why I was discouraged today in Spiritual Growth.

Food
I tried a banana cake with buttercream frosting sweetened with stevia powder. Mr. Fix-it took one bit and threw it in the garbage. Artsy and Race Car liked the cake, but no one liked the frosting. So, I asked Mr. Fix-it if it would have been better with fresh unsweetened whip cream instead. His exact words were "No, the cake was disgusting" and then he added "I meant that in a nice way". I may try again in the future. But for tonight after the excitement of trying the cake was over, fresh fruit was again the best dessert. But even after all that, Race Car asked "Can I have some sort of dessert or something?" I just looked at him and then he laughed and said "Oh yah, I forgot."

"Stuff" Detachment
The things I see when I am really looking. I found two Diaper Genie refills sitting in plain sight. I don't have a diaper genie. I used to, but it is long gone. I also got rid of something Joke-A-Lot was willing to get rid of. It is much easier for her to let go of things than Artsy or Race Car. I hope I can lead by example, that things are only things.

Spiritual Growth
My spirit is discouraged today as it seemed satan took full advantage of the fact that I really wanted to fulfill my challenge from yesterday which was: Let's see if we can make it one full day with only kind, patient, loving words. I wanted to come back with good news, but it seemed I had less patience and love rather than more. But, I won't give up. How can I? I have four beautiful souls in my hands, so I am going to keep my blog short today and get a good nights rest, so that I am fully ready to again try to be more patient and loving.

On a positive note, I have really enjoyed watching the relationship between my boys foster. Every morning, Race Car asks if he can outside with Curly. They go out and sit back in all the pea gravel surrounding the play set and play with their trucks forever. Very sweet.

Book Discussion
I will continue tomorrow. The next section had some really good things to share, so stay tuned.

Prayer
Dear Lord,
I continue to hand this blog over to you that I may do your will through it. I pray that those that experienced a day full of love and patience will be blessed with another one tomorrow. And for those of us who struggled in this area, I pray that you fill us with your courage and peace, that we will wake up fully rested and filled to the brim with God's love. Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Yogurt smoothie made with Stoneyfield Farms plain whole milk yogurt, frozen blueberries, banana, flaxseed oil, Special K Protein Plus cereal with whole milk

Lunch: Leftover hamburgers with whole wheat buns and one had Van's blueberry waffle with peanut butter and sliced banana, still hungry, bagel with peanut butter, oranges, apples with peanut butter (we all like peanut butter, natural of course)

Snack: Mixed nuts, no oil, no salt, just plain

Dinner: Chuck roast, carrots, potatoes, corn, stevia sweetened banana cake (see Food for the family response), fresh fruit (blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, grapes, pomegranete seeds, and bananas)

March 17, 2010 Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2010-03-17T22:24:00.006-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Christ beside me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me." St. Patrick

Song of the Day
The Lord's Prayer by Andrea Bocelli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIh2gnlHP-U

Food
This shouldn't be a surprise, but the kids seem to be eating a lot more. The truth is they are just eating more good food and less garbage.

"Stuff" Detachment
I threw one of Race Car's many Race Car shirts. It really needed to go. Also, got rid of a baby squish book and some cheap brand of Legos. Seeing Joke-A-Lot struggle just to get them to click together didn't look like too much fun.

Spiritual Growth
Artsy brought another heart to give Jesus today at Mass. I continue to struggle with patience and doing everything with love. I think I need accountability. Anyone out there want to do the one day challenge? Let's see if we can make it one full day with only kind, patient, loving words. Even discipline must be done with patience and love. Hmmmm. Any takers? I'll let you know how I do tomorrow.

I am also struggling in handing out all of the worries to God. I keep grabbing them back and trying to figure out what I can do to make things work out. I have a lot of fear, fear of missing an opportunity with the kids, missing pictures or video at a certain special event. My memory isn't always the best, so I have fear that I will forget and I believe pictures and videos will help me to remember.

Book Discussion
Title: Searching for and Maintaining Peace
Author: Fr. Jacques Philippe
Section: God Asks For Everything, But He Doesn't Necessarily Take Everything and What to Do When You Are Unable to Abandon Yourself?

"Faced with certain goods that we possess (a material good, a friendship, an activity that we enjoy, etc.), the devil, in an effort to prevent us from abandoning ourselves to God, causes us to imagine that if we put everything in God's hands, God will effectively take everything and "ruin" everything in our lives!"

" . . .the Lord asks only an attitude of detachment at the level of the heart, a disposition to give Him everything. But He doesn't necessarily "take" everything."

"The proper attitude then is simply to be disposed to give everything to God, without panic, and to allow Him to do things His way, in total confidence."

So, if you are at all like me, you are thinking "Yah, right." I couldn't even make it one day letting go. What do you do when you simply have a hard time abandoning yourself to God? Thankfully, the subsequent section was about just that, and this is what he said.

"Abandonment is not natural; it is a grace to be asked of God. He will give it to us, if we pray with perseverance: Ask, and it will be given to you (Matthew 7:7)."

"Abandonment is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, but the Lord does not refuse this Spirit to those who ask with faith . . ."

So, the answer is simple, but not easy. We must persevere in our prayer life, continually asking for the ability to abandon ourselves to God.

Tomorrow: The Lord is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want

Prayer
Dear Lord, please bless all those reading this blog. Help them on their spiritual walk that they may continue to grow closer to you. Please bless all of us with the ability to abandon ourselves to you with complete and utter trust Lord. You are trustworthy. We have nothing to fear. Amen.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Flour tortillas with scrambled eggs and cheese, oranges

Lunch: Chicken, brown rice, and broccoli stir fried in olive oil and soy sauce, fruit cup (grapefruit, oranges, and grapes), still hungry so, triscuits and cheese, still hungry, so peanut butter bagel

Dinner: Hamburger on a whole wheat bun with reduced sugar ketchup, tortilla chips (we were late for religion)

Snack: Artsy had another hamburger, Race Car had an orange, Joke-A-Lot had the whole wheat bread mentioned in earlier blogs with butter, and Curly had plain yogurt sweetened with four drops of Stevia.

March 16, 2010

2010-03-16T14:56:00.007-05:00

Verse of the Day
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6

Song of the Day
The Coloring Song by Petra
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXSugnTCWbs&feature=related

Food
A sugar-free lent is not proving to be as difficult as anticipated. I am wondering why I provided so many treats before. I also found the key to getting the kids to eat vegetables. Eat at 7pm and then make sure the steamed broccoli is done first! I thought Race Car was going to eat the entire bowl. Then he proceeded to eat 3 helpings of chicken, 2 helpings of rice-a-roni, yams, corn, some of my roasted cauliflour and 2 bowls of fruit. Scares me a little, since he is a bean pole and only 5 years old. Can you imagine when he is 16?

"Stuff" Detachment
Boy, a trip to my jewelry box is like a trip back in time. Found some real treasures today, two of those handmade weaved ankle bracelets and a mood ring. I am so sad to be riding this house of those items.

Spiritual Growth
The Divine Mercy Chaplet has been going well, other than the fact that I forgot today. Race Car took it upon himself to lead a few days ago without even being asked. I have also really enjoyed the simple fact of a break in the day where they all come and cuddle around me. Who wouldn't like that? We do it at 3pm, the hour of Jesus' death on the cross.

Mass is also going well. Curly has become a little amusing. During the prayers of the faithful, the priest offers up a prayer and we respond "Lord, hear our prayer." Well, Curly has caught on to the word "prayer", but instead of saying it in unison with the rest of us, he says it nice and loud right after we say it. For example, priest says "For all the poor in spirit, that they may find comfort in our Lord, let us pray to the Lord", we say "Lord hear our prayer", then Curly says "PRAYER!"

Book Discussion
Book: Searching for and Maintaining Peace
Author: Fr. Jacques Philippe
Section: One Abandons Oneself Completely or Not at All

I decided to separate this section, so that those who aren't real interested in this can pass over it and those that love the deep stuff can find it immediately.

What a fabulous section today! I spent the last hour prior to writing this cutting up fruit for my "fruit cup" which entails sectioned oranges and grapefruits and grapes cut in half. Takes me about an hour. By the time I was done, I was so worked up. My mind was in spin mode. Within the next month, Joke-A-Lot has her birthday, we have Holy Week and Easter, and then Joke-A-Lot is celebrating her First Holy Communion. I was getting overwhelmed with all the details, but also with all the costs that would arise. Then, I sat down to read this section to discuss with you. It couldn't have been more perfect. I am pretty confident that I am not the only one out there with things similar to this running through their heads. So, hopefully you will find this as useful as I did.

"We must put everything, without exception, into the hands of God, not seeking any longer to manage or "to save" ourselves by our own means: not in the material domain, nor the emotional domain, nor the spiritual . . .The measure of our interior peace will be that of our abandonment, consequently of our detachment."

"The one who clings to something, who wishes to protect some domain in his life in order to manage it at his convenience without radically abandoning it into the hands of God, is making a very bad mistake: he devotes himself to unnecessary preoccupations and exposes himself to the gnawing sense of loss."

"This is the way to happiness, because if we leave God free to act in His way, He is infinitely more capable of rendering us happy than we ourselves are, because he knows us and loves us more than we can ever know or love ourselves."

Saint John of the Cross said "All things were given to me from the moment when I no longer sought them."

"If we detach ourselves from everything and put them into the hands of God, god will return them to us a hundredfold, from this day forward."

So, the last hour while cutting the fruit was an utter waste of time, managing only to take minutes off my life because of the worry. I think I need to go back and listen to the God is Faithful song from a few days ago. I try so hard to control things and manage things because if I can just look at things differently, than maybe I can make things work out. It is far more comforting and freeing to just let go and trust God. In the past, when I have done this in very small ways, I have seen the miracles that God had ready to give when I loosened my grip just a bit.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, toast with butter or peanut butter, pears

Lunch: Flour tortillas with taco meat and cheese, baked apples with cinnamon

Dinner: Baked chicken with salt, pepper, paprika and onions, yams with butter and cinnamon, corn, Rice-A-Roni (I know it isn't good for you), steamed broccoli, fruit bowl (strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, pomegranate seeds, grapes, bananas, and pears)

March 15, 2010

2010-03-15T22:07:00.008-05:00

Verse of the Day
"God indeed is my savior; I am confident and unafraid. My strength and my courage is the Lord, and he has been my savior." Isaiah 12:2

Song of the Day
El Shaddai by Michael Card
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzqwG-ZQDUE&feature=related

Food
Nothing new on the food front.

"Stuff" Detachment
Cleaned out the shed on this beautiful day and got rid of a lot more than 3 things. It felt terrific. Over time, this purging of stuff has to pay off.

Spiritual Growth
I recently was in the victory ring for one of God's miracles. Here is what happened.

I was waiting in line to check my books out at my local library. There usually isn't a line, but that day there was. So, I naturally began looking around to pass the time. I was flabbergasted to see in full view of the check out counter a magazine with a woman's upper body almost fully revealed. So, I talked to the woman in charge at that library. I was told to fill out a request for consideration, so I did.

I received a letter stating that they would not remove the magazine, cover the magazine or place it in a different location. But if you wanted to follow up more you could meet with the director of the county's whole library system, so I did.

Prior to going to meet with the director, I researched covers from this magazine, GQ, from the past 2 years to find much worse things than that original cover. Several of them had naked women either on the top, bottom or both, sort of covering themselves up. I brought these with me for my meeting. The director admitted that she was planning on saying "no", but now after seeing the images I brought she needed to reconsider.

I met again with her a month later. She explained in detail all the people she talked to about this and exactly what she considered, but "no" was still the answer. I went on to talk about how frustrated I am that in our world everyone hides behind rules and will never step forward and do the right thing just because it is the right thing. Moving that magazine is the right thing. My 7, 6, and 5 year old children shouldn't be seeing naked people on magazine covers when they are checking out Mary Poppins. We have to check the books out. We can't avoid that area. All to no avail.

I went home and prayed. I told the kids to get ready for Mass because we needed to pray that this woman gain the courage to do the right thing, to figure out some way to make this work. I could tell she agreed with me, but didn't want to "compromise the integrity of the library". As we were getting ready, the director called to tell me that she was looking at the layout of the magazines and that if you place GQ alphabetically by its full name Gentleman's Quarterly, that places the magazine over a shelf and at the bottom, completely out of sight for those checking out. I hung up and we headed to Mass to thank God for the miracle. He allowed her to "follow her rules" and protect the children. Praise God!

Today's section title from Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Philippe: To Grow in Confidence: A Child's Prayer

We need to have a contemplative gaze on Jesus Who gives His life for us, nourishes us with "too great a love"

"Finally, too many people are distressed because they are not contemplatives. They do not take the time to nourish their own hearts and return them to peace by gazing with love on Jesus." Since the assaults of evil through thoughts of discouragement and distrust are never-ending, shouldn't our prayers also be never-ending?

"Let us therefore learn to abandon ourselves, to have total confidence in God, in the big things as in the small, with the simplicity of little children. . . this is the true response to the mystery of evil and suffering. . . In abandoning myself to God, I experience in a concrete fashion that "it really works," that God makes all things work together for my good, even evil, even suffering, even my own sins. How many occasions that I dreaded, when they arrived, in the final analysis proved to be supportable, and finally beneficial, after the first impact of pain. That which I believed to be working against me revealed itself to be to my benefit."

And that my friends explains my blog from yesterday about suffering and seeing the benefit later. Interesting how that led right into today's subject. I hadn't read it yet.

Tomorrow: One Abandons Oneself Completely or Not at All

Today's Menu:
Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk, mashed bananas, and cinnamon, Jone's mild sausage links, grapes

Snack: Half peanut butter sandwich. The hour change for some reason threw us way off, so we didn't have an official lunch. Being that it was 60 degrees, Curly and Race Car were outside from noon until 6pm. Girls joined them after we finished school around 3:00pm. It was a beautiful day.

Dinner: Tacos (Old El Paso Stand and Stuff taco shells, flour tortillas, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese), strawberries

March 14, 2010

2010-03-14T21:23:00.009-05:00

Verse of the Day
"We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Song of the Day
God is Faithful by Sheila Walsh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yI8UhnIn8s
I would recommend listening to this song after you read the rest of the blog. It will take on more meaning.

Food
The kids enjoyed the cake, ice cream and juice thoroughly. Mr. Fix-it is definitely wanting yum-yums.

"Stuff" Detachment
Ditched two of Mr. Fix-its light jackets that had dust collecting on them because of lack of use and a pair of shorts that needed to be thrown out two years ago. It is so much easier to go and get rid of his stuff than mine.

Spiritual Growth
Interestingly, today's topic in my book "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Fr. Jacques Philippe is "The Fear of Suffering". Suffering is a part of this world. We have all experienced it in one degree or another. Doesn't this contradict the words of the Gospel? "No,. . .He never leaves us deprived of what is essential: His presence, His peace and all that is necessary for the complete fulfillment of our lives according to His plans for us. If He permits suffering, then it is our strength to believe, as Therese of Lisieux says, that 'God does not permit unnecessary suffering.'" He goes on to explain that we should do what we can to eliminate it, relieve it, but that it will always remain in our personal lives and the world.

"The wisdom of man can only produce works on a human level. Only the Wisdom of God can realize things divine, and it is to divine heights that it destines us." We need the confidence of a child in God, in His Love and in His Wisdom.

I had two poignant experiences in my life where the Bible verse above was one that helped to carry me through. The first was when I was 24, engaged, wedding completely planned, dresses in, everything done. Then the bomb dropped as I heard these words from my fiance "Something is wrong in my life." That was the beginning of the end. I was absolutely in shock, never for a second saw it coming. Yet, I was never mad, everyone else was mad. I wasn't mad. I didn't want someone marrying me that didn't want to marry me. But the promise that came with the ring and the dreams of our life together were ripped out from under me. Through that time, I remember staying confident that God could bring something good out of a bad situation. The song of the day was a tremendous encouragement. And yes, God was faithful. The next five years were filled with healing and forgiveness and some fun travel with friends and my cousin. This prepared me, so that I was ready when Mr. Fix-it came into my life. I couldn't understand at that time how that experience of suffering could have helped me, but it did. I gained a whole new faith, a strength from within, knowing my Lord would always take care of me. And I now can't imagine a life with anyone, but my wonderful husband, Mr. Fix-it.

The second experience of tremendous suffering was when my mom died 3 years ago. This experience of suffering continues, and 3 years later I can't believe that it still hurts so much to not have my mom. The tears still come easily. I remember after she died walking around wondering how people can be happy. All of a sudden I had become a part of this club that I never knew existed, a club that no one can ever prepare for, you are just thrown into it without a moments notice. One minute you are at home making breakfast for your children. The next minute you are at the hospital saying good-bye to your biggest fan, your hero on earth, your mom. I now look at people who lose a close loved one differently. I never before understood the pain. People who lost their mom fairly young came out of the woodwork, because they got it.

But again God is faithful. Deep down I have that trust that this will be for the better. St. Therese said she would spend her Heaven showering good upon the earth. Well, I think my mom is spending her Heaven showering good upon the earth, all of course through the power of God. The first was Curly. He was born exactly one year and 30 minutes after my mom died. Who could plan that even if you tried? The second is my brother who is on fire for his faith. The third was that my husband got a job 15 months after my mom died. It was at a company that she always wanted Mr. Fix-it to work at.

I don't get mad that my mom died. She was in such tremendous pain, to wish her back would be nothing but pure selfishness. She said just months before she died that as much as she would miss all of us, she was ready to be with Jesus. It is her example that continues to help me get through this. When she would have trouble sleeping because of the pain, she would pray the Rosary. When I had trouble sleeping for months after she died, I, too, said the Rosary. When things were overwhelming, she would say "Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you." When I am overwhelmed with going through life without her support, I say "Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you." When I get irritable (like tonight), when we got home and I had a headache, had the hiccups, had to go to the bathroom, had my hair hanging in my face and driving me crazy, and was starving, I think of the joy that my mom carried with her in the midst of her chronic never-leaving physical suffering. That sure puts things in perspective real quick. It was nothing short of miraculous. Everyone that knew her could not figure out how she had such joy when she was in such pain. So, even though she is no longer here on earth, her soul continues to shape and mold me in only good ways. I figure if I can follow her lead, I will be just fine.

I knew this would be a hard blog to write, but felt it necessary if not for you than for me and my journey of healing that continues. So, this is why the song above is one of my favorites. It has been the reminder I needed during those rough times. God is faithful.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: peanut butter toast or butter toast with cheese slices, strawberries

Lunch: Birthday party food

Dinner: Left-over party food

March 13, 2010

2010-03-13T23:21:00.008-06:00

Verse of the Day
" . . .;for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 18:14

Song of the Day
America Again by Carmen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYtCanpBhVg&NR=1

Food
Tomorrow is another birthday party, but the kids haven't even mentioned the cake. I will let them have cake and ice cream, but will be interested to see if any decide not to have any. I doubt it. They are kids for Pete's sake, what kid is going to decline cake and ice cream?

"Stuff" Detachment
I was so excited to report yesterday's and since I couldn't, I will report today. I started throwing old spices away and next thing you know, I cleared out the whole cabinet, washed all the shelves and reorganized. Boy, that feels good. Sadly, I don't think that has been done since we moved here 8 years ago. Eeek!

Spiritual Growth
Well, this has nothing to do with spiritual growth, but I have to say it anyway. Curly (turned 2 in January), went to the bathroom on the big potty twice today. Amazing how such a simple thing can make your day.

I spent all of last night and all day today at a graduate class "Parenting and Teaching Relationships". I need this to keep my teaching license current. I definitely felt like a fish out of water. I haven't taught since I had my first daughter 8 years ago, plus I homeschool, which for the most part isn't looked upon in a real positive light by public school teachers (except for my awesome uncle, love ya Uncle Ray!). Thank God for the fact that I had Jack Bauer sitting two chairs over which made things a bit lively. Seriously, this guy had his sunglasses on because of some eye deal and he looked just like Jack Bauer. He was as passionate about education as Jack Bauer is about his missions. It was hysterical. Even one of the other teachers who was sitting directly across from him yesterday, came and sat by me today. She didn't like being in his line of fire when he was talking. You know who I am talking about right? Jack Bauer from 24. I don't recommend the show. It is highly addictive and isn't of any value. After the first season, I vowed to never watch it again.

During the class, the teacher asked all of us to write our mission statement for our family down on paper. That was easy "To help my husband and children get to Heaven." Everything else good falls under that wouldn't you say? Well, not to my surprise most people were saying things like "to raise well-adjusted children", "to raise self-sufficient children" and yes these are all fine and dandy, but I wanted to yell out "That's it? How depressing." We have a higher goal, a more enriching and fulfilling goal. So, I sat there with my heart thumping just wishing I had the courage to say my mission even though it would be a total misfit. I wanted to humble myself because this wasn't about me. Maybe God wanted me to say my mission to at least get some people thinking past this earthly life. Well, the moment passed, and I said nothing. I felt so crummy. I blew it. I couldn't even say that. I asked God for another chance. And I got it. Next scenario was this "If you could inject your children with some quality (can't remember the exact word he used), what would it be?" Again all of these good things came out the teachers such as patience, resiliency, empathy, and then I finally spit it out "love of God". Guess what? Everything was okay. No one gasped out loud or anything, but why is it so hard to stand up about even the simplest things?

So, after hearing all the grumblings from the teachers for two days, which were the same grumblings from 8 years ago when I taught. And yes, they are valid grumblings. But I sat there knowing full well nothing would ever change. First of all, there is only so many options when you have a class of 35 students. But secondly, when you ship God out of the schools, can we really be surprised at what is happening. That is why I chose the song above. It always gets me fired up. I remember when I taught, students would gather around the flag pole at the beginning of the year one time before school started in the morning. I would go out there and a couple other teachers too. But the group of students wasn't very big, yet they were there as their fellow students walked by them into school for the day. I was so proud of them, what courage.

I am going to sneak in a bit about "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Fr. Jacques Philippe. This next section was titled "Our Difficulty in Believing in Providence".

Fr. Philippe said, "We cannot experience this support from God unless we leave Him the Necessary space in which He can express Himself." Saint John of the Cross says "God gives in the measure that we expect of Him" and Saint Frances de Sales says: "The measure of Divine Providence acting on us is the degree of confidence that we have in it." Father goes on to explain that this is where the problem is, we have never jumped out and taken a leap of faith into the unknown, so that we could experience "Him catching us". We calculate and resolve everything on our own without relying on God. He is clear to state that it isn't bad to anticipate things and develop a budget,etc., but when everything is planned down to the last detail, where have we allowed God's Providence to come in. The answer is we haven't if we control, control, control. I am saying this to myself as I have a problem with trying to always control everything. Yet, I felt some of my best blogs were those that I wrote when I sat down with an absolute empty brain. There was room for God to come through. And the more we see Him come through for us, the more we will develop trust in knowing that our God is faithful. I will end there as that is the perfect lead in for tomorrow's blog which will include one of my all time favorite songs that I mentioned yesterday.

Today's Menu
Breakfast and Lunch: Mr. Fix-it was in charge. I don't ask any questions, just glad everyone is happy when I get home.

Dinner: Papa Murphy's pizza, half cheese, half tomatoes and green peppers, grapes, apples with natural peanut butter, whole milk

Snack: Popcorn made with corn oil on the stove

2010-03-13T00:36:00.001-06:00

Sorry, Mr. Fix-it needed the computer tonight, so there is no post. Bummer too, as I was thinking of putting one of my all time favorite songs on the playlist. Maybe tomorrow. We'll see what God has in store.

March 11, 2010

2010-03-11T22:31:00.006-06:00

Verse of the Day
"Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?" Matthew 6:27

Song of the Day
Hold On To Jesus by Steven Curtis Chapman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzi_JwTuXds

Food
Curly's godfather stopped over to teach the kids a mini-lesson on Spanish. He happened to bring 4 chocolate chip cookies with him for the kids. There was excitement, but no fight. They just wanted to know if they could freeze them for later, which of course we did.

Also, at dinner when I pulled out the canned peaches and pears (getting low on fresh fruit and need to go to the store), the kids were so excited you would have thought I pulled out vanilla cupcakes. So, that's a good sign. They never were excited about it before.

"Stuff" Detachment
Hit the glasses cabinet today. Put all the crummy plastic glasses on the counter and told the kids each to pick two. So, I threw away 4 plastic glasses that did nothing, but make my trip into the cabinet all the more treacherous because it was so jam packed.

Just a side note for anyone out there who loves to find great deals on things and then donate them. JcPenney's at Rosedale had girls purple gloves by the checkout in the kids department, decent nice thick gloves that go high up on the wrist, normally $14.99, now clearanced to $.97. I picked up a few to donate, but they had a whole rack, probably about 50-100. I wish I could have got them all and brought them down to Sharing and Caring Hands. Winter will come again and there will be people who need gloves down there. So, I just thought I would mention it, in case the Holy Spirit wanted to inspire anyone out there.

Spiritual Growth
In Searching for and Maintaining Peace, Fr. Jacques Philippe goes on "The most common reason for which we could lose our sense of peace is a fear caused by certain situations which touch us personally and in which we feel threatened, apprehensions in the face of present or future difficulties, fear of lacking something important, of not succeeding in such and such a project, and so forth. The examples are infinite and touch all sectors of our lives: health, family and professional life, moral life and the spiritual life itself. . . And the restlessness generated by this lack, or the fear of lacking, causes us to lose our peace. Faced with such a situation, what, then, could allow us to remain always at peace?"

He goes on to remind us that we are never assured of obtaining anything and everything which we hold can easily slip away. The surest way to lose peace is to rely solely on oneself. The solution is simple but difficult. We must rely on God alone, with total trust in Him.

"Man does not have confidence in God. Hence he looks in every possible place to extricate himself by his own resources and renders himself terribly unhappy in the process rather than abandon himself into the tender and saving hands of his Father in heaven. Yet, how unjustified this lack of confidence is! Isn't it absurd that a child would thus doubt his Father, when this Father is the best and most powerful Who could exist, when He is the Father in heaven? In spite of that, it is in this absurdity that we most frequently live."

"How many young people, for example, hesitate to give their lives entirely to God because they do not have confidence that God is capable of making them completely happy. And they seek to assure their own happiness by themselves and they make themselves sad and unhappy in the process."

Fr. Philippe ends this section explaining that this is precisely the great victory of the Father of Lies, of the Accuser; to succeed in putting into the heart of a child of God distrust of his Father.

Tomorrow (or soon there after): Our Difficulty in Believing in Providence

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Flour tortillas filled with scrambled eggs and melted cheese, applesauce

Lunch: Frozen cheese pizza, apples with natural peanut butter

Snack: More apples some with natural peanut butter

Dinner: Hamburgers with buns, french fries, green beans, canned peaches and pears in their own juice

March 10, 2010

2010-03-10T21:21:00.007-06:00

Verse of the Day
"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. . . .; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes." Big Book of AA (pg449)

Song of the Day
What If I Stumble by Dc Talk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REkHgHSYaSk
This was a fitting song. Doubts stream through my head, still a bit amazed that I am doing this blog, then like clockwork I hear from another person who is enjoying this blog. With all that has happened throughout this blog, I am more confident than ever that this was indeed the will of God. And I continue to say, this isn't about me, but about God. I will continue to try my best to be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and allow Him to work through me.

Food
There has been some rumbling on the home front. But we are making it through and to be honest the kids seem more settled, calm, and more even keel. Yes, it could be in my head, but if it is I hope it continues. I like it this way.

"Stuff" Detachment
I am definitely finding it easy to get rid of the junk. Today was a sweatshirt from when I coached volleyball about 16 years ago, had holes in it. Finally, got Mr. Fix-It some new jeans, so out went his old ones, along with a gigantic t-shirt. I feel like I am working around the outside of the issue. I am purposefully avoiding getting ride of anything with any sort of attachment. I'll keep plugging away.

Spiritual Growth
Today, I had the "fun" job of taking my boys for their pictures, always such a joyous event, but I continue to torture myself through the process probably because of my attachment to pictures. When I first began this picture process with Joke-A-Lot 8 years, I was filled with stress. I wanted the best pictures. I would worry about it before, during, and after. Thankfully, the verse above about acceptance was one of the many things I have learned through my journey as a recovering compulsive overeater. So, today was definitely growth for me. I had Curly sitting through every pose with the same exact "deer caught in the headlights look". He would sit, lay, stand, hold a balloon, all with the exact same look. On the other extreme, we had Race Car who was smiling so hard, his eyes disappeared and his teeth and gums took over his whole face. In the past, I would have pushed the photographer to take more pictures, try something different, etc. This time was different, I actually accepted the situation exactly as it was. So, the time came to view all the photographs. Thankfully, there was one picture of Race Car where we could indeed see that he was blessed with beautiful eyes. Then, there they came, Curly's pictures. Picture after picture of the exact same expression. I couldn't help it, I was laughing pretty hard. In the past, I would not have been laughing, but asking them to redo the session. I finally narrowed down the choice to the ones where his curly hair looked the best, since the expressions didn't change.

Tomorrow: I promise I will get back to my book on peace tomorrow. It is so good.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Nature's Pride 100% whole wheat double fiber bread with Smucker's natural creamy peanut butter, grapes

Lunch: McDonald's hamburger, no pickle, small fry, water

Snack: Gala apples with Smucker's natural peanut butter

Dinner: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes (made with butter, whole milk), asparagus (sauteed in butter), stewed tomatoes, canned pears in their own juices

Snack: More Gala apples with peanut butter, triscuits and marble jack cheese

March 9, 2010

2010-03-09T23:48:00.005-06:00

Verse of the Day
"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."
2Corinthians 12:9

Spiritual Growth
You might notice that this blog isn't following my normal layout. To be honest, I was going to skip the blog tonight as it is midnight, but as I checked my emails, once again someone sent me a video clip that was so inspiring. And the man in the video had a shirt on that said "Grace is enough" and I had just read that exact verse only moments before. So, once again, I felt the Lord has dropped this in my lap to share with you. I still am going to keep it short today, but you can enjoy the video instead. It is about 7 minutes and definitely inspiring. I should be back to my normal blog tomorrow.

http://www.allprodad.com/page.php?id=190

March 8, 2010

2010-03-08T22:03:00.009-06:00

Verse of the Day
"Blessed are you who are poor, for the kingdom of God is yours. Blessed are you who are now hungry, for you will be satisfied." Luke 6:20-21

Song of the Day
We Are One Body by Dana Scallon
http://www.spiritandsong.com/compositions/16432

This link has the song with the words. Once again, the verse, song and spiritual growth section have a running theme. God seems to be orchestrating that for me. Today the theme is the poor.

Food
Made some roasted cauliflour for lunch with olive oil, paprika, salt and pepper. It looked and smelled fabulous. I thought I would be reporting how they ate it up like candy, not so much. Race car claimed he liked it, but declined seconds.

"Stuff" Detachment
Got rid of a spatula, wooden spoon, and steamer basket. All were old and have been at the bottom of the drawer since we moved here.

Spiritual Growth
Today I went to pick Mr. Fix-it up. He had been away visiting his family on the east coast for a couple days. He agreed to take the light rail over to the Target Center where the new Twins Stadium is and would walk across the street and meet me at Sharing and Caring Hands. Perfect! I could drop off my bags of stuff I had accumulated to donate.

I need to back up a bit. Prior to him leaving, I saw he left his gloves somewhere, so I put them on his bag so he wouldn't forget them for his trip. It was then that I noticed how run down they were with a hole in the finger. Then I began looking around thinking about how everything looked run down, basically having a pity party, but I was the only one there. I made a mental note to keep my eyes open for some gloves. He walks about 15 minutes outside on his way to and from work, so he needs a decent pair of gloves.

Just a side note for those of you not familiar with Sharing and Caring Hands. Mary Jo Copeland started Sharing and Caring Hands in 1985. It has grown immensely to serve the needs of the poor and helping them transition into a self-sustaining life. She washes the feet of the poor when they first come in and gives them new shoes to wear. She is amazing, plain and simple. Check out their website if you are interested. http://www.sharingandcaringhands.org/index.htm

I always like to bring our donated goods there. We have gotten to know some of the Dominican Sisters that work there, plus I think it is good for the kids to see that there are people out there that we need to care about and pray for. So, when I pulled in, there stood Mr. Fix-it like a sore thumb talking to a homeless man. I was so proud of him, what a great thing for the kids to see their father sharing God's love with this strange man.

I pulled in to drop my stuff off. Mr. Fix-it walked up to see us. Of course, we were so happy to see him after him being gone for a few days, but I couldn't help crying on the way home. I felt so bad for this man on the streets. How much he would have loved to have a happy smiling family come pick him up and take him to a nice home. Then Mr. Fix-it told me a bit about their conversation. I guess the man has a tent that keeps him warm in really cold temperatures. Mr. Fix-it asked him if he had gloves because he was going to give him his. That is when it hit me. I said "Those gloves! There is a hole in the finger." And Mr. Fix-it said "Yah, but it is better than nothing." Turned out the man did have gloves and proudly explained how he got his jacket out of the garbage. So, here I was feeling sorry for myself because of everything getting run down and this man is happy about a jacket he found in the garbage. Sure makes you grateful. Maybe some things are run down around here, but who cares? We have so much. I sit here still having trouble with the image of him on the street. It just shouldn't be that way. Thank God for Mary Jo Copeland. She explains profusely that a large percentage of the people in there aren't there because of their own screwed up decisions, but because they simply came on hard times. I take it for granted that I have such a great family and support system. Everyone doesn't have that.

I chose the verse above because of this experience. I also think after an experience like this, it is necessary to recall this man in our prayers continually. Mr. Fix-it had a real amazing "It's A Wonderful Life" sort of experiences a year or two ago. Maybe I will share it one of these days, but I know we have to continue to pray for that man as well. We may be the only ones that they have to pray for them. We are one body in Christ, hence the song I chose above. We are all equally loved in God's eyes, homeless or homeblessed.

So, that is my spiritual growth for today - an attitude of gratitude and a prayer for a better tomorrow for that man. I will continue on as planned tomorrow.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk, bananas, and cinnamon, Jone's sausage patties

Lunch: Ham Sandwiches, made with Nature's Pride 100% whole wheat double fiber bread, Shaved ham, marble jack cheese, roasted cauliflour, strawberries

Dinner: Stuffed peppers made with peppers, white rice, ground beef seasoned with chili powder and cumin, marble jack cheese, bananas

Snack: Butter snap pretzels

March 7, 2010

2010-03-07T14:46:00.007-06:00

Verse of the Day
"You made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You" (Saint Augustine)

Song of the Day
Oh Father by Eric Genuis
http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=8e8a63a0a247eac98ede
There is an advertisement at the bottom of the video that you can close out.

I am completely amazed that I found a video for this song online. But as soon as I read the quote above, this song from years past (1993 to be exact) popped into my head. I have learned to just trust the direction that the Lord wants to lead me with this blog.

Food
I was a little sad this morning as Artsy seemed so fixed on trying to figure out something sweet to have, or something sweet she would have on her birthday this summer. I really think sugar affects her more than the others. Joke-A-Lot and Curly had the sugared drinks (Pedialyte, 7-up, etc.) when they were recovering from their illness and it didn't phase them when they went back to no sugar, but Artsy seems to be having a hard time. I will be curious to see how she is in a few days after being off of the sugar again. Will her talk revolve so much around sugared stuff that she wants to have in the future?

I am also reading a book my childhood allergist authored. It talks about how food allergies can affect us. I have read the sections on acidic foods, MSG, aspartame, and now just began reading about refined sugar. I'll keep you updated on what I learn. Thus far from other resources, I think I finally get the answer to the age old question "Why is fruit okay, but fructose is not okay? They both are fructose." The short and sweet answer after listening to an hour and a half deal on why high fructose corn syrup and basically other sugars are bad is because when you eat fruit, nature gives the anecdote with the fructose and that is fiber. There is something about your the way your body absorbs the fructose when it has the fiber with it versus straight fructose. So, that is why sugared soda and fruit juice are basically the same in regards to sugar. Okay, not sure anyone really cared to hear all that, but that is my two cents and is always subject to begin wrong.

"Stuff" Detachment

Grabbed two necklaces from forever ago that I will never wear again and a bottle of post pregnancy baby oil. Sorry, my baby is two years old. There is nothing that oil can help me with now.

Spiritual Growth
I am hoping to get back to daily Mass this week. We have all really come to love going. God always brings me encouragement after I go. The last time I went before we all got sick, two people I didn't even know found me after Mass to tell me how much they enjoy hearing Curly make his little sounds. Yes, they said "enjoy". The one who was a guy said he thinks of it as Curly's prayers to God. I stood there looking at this guy like "Are you for real?" Although, he did reiterate, that screaming and crying would be a different story. So, that was comforting because either Joke-A-Lot or I usually bail out the back door at the first sign of toddler talking.

In "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Fr. Jacques Philippe, he discusses that this peace is not available to everyone independent of their attitude toward God. "When individuals are close to God, love and desire to serve the Lord, the usual strategy of the devil is to cause them to lose their peace of heart, whereas God, on the contrary, comes to their aid to give them peace. But this rule is reversed for those who hearts are far from God, who live in indifference and evil. The devil seeks to tranquilize such individuals, to keep them in a false sense of quietude, whereas the Lord, Who desires their salvation and conversion, will trouble and disquiet their consciences in an effort to get them to repent." So, that is why I chose that specific Verse of the Day. We are made for the Lord, there will be no rest until we rest in him. So, the necessary condition for this interior peace that transcends is goodwill or purity of heart. Basically, it is a person determined more than anything to love God and to seek to do His will above their own. It is not perfection because it can coexist with imperfections and faults and hesitations.

Tomorrow - The Troubles of Life and the Fear of Being Without

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Nature's Pride 100% Whole Wheat Double Fiber bread with natural peanut butter, blueberries, Triscuits and cheese

Lunch: 1 piece of leftover pizza, mac and cheese, fresh cucumbers and brocolli, strawberries

Dinner: Grass-fed ground beef hamburgers from http://www.pasturesaplenty.com/ on Arnold Sandwhich Thins Multi-Grain, Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Golden Crinkles, steamed brocolli, baked apples with cinnamon

March 6, 2010

2010-03-06T14:27:00.009-06:00

Verse of the Day
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

Song of the Day
Go Light Your World by Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVSHCbolJew

Songs evoke such strong emotion in me. I thought I better not pick another one that makes me cry, although this one can bring a tear or two. I am reminded that we are Jesus' hands and feet. He has chosen to work through us, hence the unleashing of the Holy Spirit at so many times in our life. Thinking especially of my nephew who was confirmed this morning, praying that God sends the Holy Spirit upon him in a powerful way, lighting his path and making his mission here on earth more clear with each passing day.

Food
Our sugar-free journey has been imperfect thus far, but really going quite well. Even Joke-A-Lot who normally isn't a big fruit eater has been enjoying the variety of fruits that I put in front of her. I continue to be grateful that all of the kids are listening to their stomachs thus far. Today, I had some extra cheese I had cut and offered it to Joke-A-Lot and Race Car. They both love it. Neither of them wanted any, so I almost began to argue with them "But you guys love this cheese". They responded "But we aren't hungry". Yes! Somewhere along the way my full/empty switch got broken, hence the reason for my 12 step program of recovery in compulsive overeating. So, thrilled to continue to see that there systems are working and they are listening to them.

"Stuff" Detachment
Hitting the closet today. I will be right back. Yes! I got three of Mr. Fix-its short sleeve shirts, all fall into the "worn out" or "never wear" category. He'll never know. Good that's done. I am glad I am forced to do this and report in.

Spiritual Growth
I again am not surprised that as I write this, an email came in with an encouraging story about a blind young man. It begins with him playing the song "Light of the Moon", so I am guessing Light is the theme of today's blog. It is really neat to sit down and have no idea where God is going to lead me. Here is the link. I have seen it before and you many have too, but it is inspiring to say the least. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=9xwCG0Ey2Mg

Fr. Jacques Philippe in his book "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" discusses the struggle we have with our thoughts. The opposition is between those thoughts that originate in our own spirit, or the mentality of our surroundings or even sometimes from the enemy himself which cause us disquietude, fear, discouragement against the other thoughts that could comfort us and reestablish our peace. He believes we need a quiver full of good thoughts, one of which should be "all the reasons that cause us to lose our sense of peace are bad reasons."

"If we seek peace as the world gives it, if we expect peace in accordance with the reasoning of the world, or with the motivations that accord with the current mentality that surrounds us (because every thing is going well, because we aren't experiencing any annoyances and our desires are completely satisfied, etc.), then it is certain that we will never know peace or that our peace will be extremely fragile and of short duration." Like right now, Joke-A-Lot and Race Car will not stop fighting over the train, but that doesn't mean I need to lose my peace right?

The reason we can be at peace comes from trust in the World of Jesus. "Peace I leave with you, My own peace I give to you; a peace the world cannot give, this is My gift to you. Let not your hearts be troubled or afraid . . ." John 14:27 So, these words carry the same weight as the words that brought earth and sky from void, that quieted the storm, that healed the sick and brought the dead back to life. This peace can never be taken away, God says so "For the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable." Romans 11:29 Because of our lack of faith we don't always know how to acquire or preserve them.

Tomorrow I will be discussing the necessary conditions for peace. And after that I will be discussing certain situations where we frequently lose our peace. Stay tuned.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Grapenuts with whole milk and sliced banana for Joke-A-Lot, Puffed corn and peanut butter toast for Curly, Van's waffles with peanut butter and sliced banana on one half and carmelized banana (sliced banana and butter sauteed) on the other half, nothing for Artsy (still recovering)

Lunch: Soft flour taco with taco meat and cheese, noodle soup with saltines, vege tray, small mandarin oranges

Dinner: Deep dish Pizza Hut pizza (cheese or pepperoni), sliced apples. Easy night!!!

March 5, 2010

2010-03-05T14:58:00.004-06:00

Verse of the Day
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

Song of the Day
You are Mine By David Haas

You know, I sat down at the computer without having a lot to say. I was up from 10:30pm until 5:30am with Artsy who was so sick. I didn't have a verse, a song, or much of anything running through my head. I thought I would keep this blog short since yesterday's was so long. All I have in front of me in my computer, my Bible and the book "Searching for and Maintaining Peace". But what just happened has left me absolutely speechless and trust my family, not many things do that. I just went to check on Artsy and I continue to walk with this stunned expression. Here is what happened.

I prayed about the blog and then said "Lord, we'll see what you have in store." I then started looking through my Bible for one of my favorite highlighted verses. But instead, I found a verse on a page with no highlights, no bookmarks, no crinkled pages that would lead me to that page. It was the verse above from Isaiah. Then I remembered the song that came forth from that verse, "You are Mine". So, I began searching for a song to link here. The first one I found was the one I will link below. So, I sat watching it.

You need to understand something about this song. We chose this song for my mom's funeral a little over 3 years ago after she died on January 19, 2007. I always loved it because it comforted me when it spoke of "the lame will now run free", "come and follow me and I will bring you home" and "embracing all your pain" and "stand up now, walk and live". My mom suffered immensely for years with the worst case of lupus doctors had ever seen. I won't go into the horrible details, but to think of her being able to finally stand up and run and being welcomed by our Lord was so comforting.

Now, back to the story. I always watch clips in their entirety to make sure there aren't any crummy ads and stuff. At the end, I had missed the writing so I slide the bar back to see what it said. There listed the two people that sang the song, along with the date they sang it - January 19, 2007, the exact day my mom died. I am sorry. If that doesn't bring chills to your arms, I don't know what will. I am still sitting her stunned. The exact month, date, and year. I will take that as an affirmation that my mom has indeed found her home in the loving arms of her savior, Jesus Christ. She clung to him desperately in her last years of life, constantly saying "Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you." And he has not let her down. He has clung to her and brought her home. It would be my honor if you would listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vMYP4uJAqY

Food
We are trying to just get by. "Everyone for themselves" is kind of how this week is going with all the sickness. Not the healthiest week, but we are getting by. I will say the TLC Oatmeal Raisin Flax cookies are going over much better than when I first brought them out.

"Stuff" Detachment
I headed to the video/dvd cabinet, which is way too full. Grabbed a Mickey Mouse Club video and 3 weight loss videos. Before I found recovery from compulsive overeating in my 12 step program 4.5 years ago, I searched high and low for the answer. I recorded anything I saw on tv and kept it to try and motivate myself. Two of the three tapes were recorded by me, the third was actually one that I ordered from Oprah. I remember paying an obscene amount, like $25, for that video. I looked more closely at it as I walked upstairs to record my findings here and guess what the date was on that Oprah video? You guessed it January 19th, only this time it was 2004. Is this getting crazy or what?

Spiritual Growth
Well, my spirit definitely grew through this blog. And these are simple things, but God has the big things under control too. Onto the book I have working through. In the section titled "Peace Is Often at Stake in the Struggle", I quoted yesterday something we all need to remember "The devil does his utmost to banish peace from one's heart, because he knows that God abides in peace and it is in peace that He accomplishes great things." He goes on to explain that this is exactly what spiritual combat is "defending one's peace of heart against the enemy who attempts to steal it from us". When we lose our interior peace, our spiritual progress slows.

". . . quite often in the daily unfolding of our Christian life it happens that we fight the wrong battle, if one may put it that way, because we orient our efforts in the wrong direction. We fight on a terrain where the devil subtly drags us and can vanquish us, instead of fighting on the real battlefield, where, on the contrary, by the grace of God, we are always certain of victory. And this is one of the great secrets of spirtual combat - to avoid fighting the wrong battle, to know how to discern, despite the ruses of our adversary, which is the real battlefield, what we truly have to struggle against and where we must place our efforts."

Interestingly, he speaks of the goal of spiritual combat like this. "The first goal of spiritual combat, that toward which our efforts must above all else be directed, is not to always obtain a victory (over our temptations, our weaknesses, etc.), rather it is to learn to maintain peace of heart under all circumstances, even in the case of defeat." He explains that it is through maintenance of our peace that God can most efficaciously and rapidly instill the grace necessary to work on our imperfections and on being more Christ-like.

Tomorrow - "The Reasons Why We Lose Our Peace Are Always Bad Reasons"

To add to the craziness of this blog, I went to get Curly up from his nap. On the way down, Artsy called me (as she has every 10 minutes all day) and said "I feel Jesus touching me" and she put her hand on her face. What the heck do you say to that? I said "Oh, is he healing you?" Hmmmm. And, yes she is fully alert, not dehydrated.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Stoneyfield Farms Plain Whole Milk Yogurt sweetened with a couple drops of French Vanilla Stevia, blueberries, bread, cheese

Lunch: Noodles with parmesan cheese, flour tortilla with cheese, pretzels, canteloupe

Dinner: Toasted cheese sandwich, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, bananas, vege tray

Snack: Triscuits and marble jack cheese

March 4, 2010

2010-03-04T14:48:00.002-06:00

Verse of the Day
"Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power. Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens." Ephesians 6:10-12

Song of the Day
"Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman
This is a song that I listen to frequently, just to keep my head on straight and focused appropriately. If you aren't familiar with the deep tragedy that hit Steven's family, the following is taken from http://www.jillstanek.com/archives/2008/05/maria_chapman.html and there is a Chapman family picture there as well.

May 23, 2008
Maria Chapman

Maria Chapman, 5-year-old daughter of Christian recording artist Steven Curtis Chapman, was killed Wednesday when accidentally run over in the family's Franklin, TN, driveway by one of her older brothers, compounding the tragedy. Wrote the Chapman's manager...

Just hours before this close knit family was celebrating the engagement of the oldest daughter Emily Chapman, and were just hours away from a graduation party marking Caleb Chapman's completion of high school. Now, they are preparing to bury a child who blew out 5 candles on a birthday cake less than 10 days ago.

Last night Artsy said "Mama remember that beautiful picture I made to take to heaven with the pretty scarf on it?" I did remember and have had it for about 2 years. If I remember correctly, she had made it to take and give to her Grandma (my mom) who died 3 years ago. Last night she said "When I die, please don't forget to put that with me." GULP. As my dear friend said "Don't go there." But, I will tell you one thing. When I do have the reality of this life in mind, I am much more kind and loving and patient toward my children. So, I am hoping this was a simple reminder (and nothing more) from God, that every moment is precious and not to let them slip away.

So, I decided to put this song in here today for any of you who are getting caught in the crazies of life and forgetting to stop, watch, enjoy, and hug our children, our spouse, our parents, our friends, whoever is near and dear to us. Do you ever just stop and watch the kids without them knowing you are watching? Hysterical!
Enjoy! And grab a tissue! http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/radio/thismomentframe.htm

Food
It would be hopeless and quite boring to try and catch you up. Let's just say that my girls were pouring through the desserts in the cookbook, figuring out what we should make after Lent. Artsy incessantly talks about her Easter basket.

Joke-A-Lot and Artsy were given a juice box and fruit snacks at their sewing class. Artsy wanted to have them, but then we had a talk about how if we always make exceptions then giving up sugar really won't turn into much of a sacrifice. So, we agreed to put it away until after Lent. I figure in this world of "I want and I want NOW." A little delayed gratification won't hurt at all.

Having sickness in the home didn't help either, as 7-up and Orange Pedialyte are loaded with sugar. What are you going to do? As I am writing this, the neighbor kid just brought more fruit snacks for them. I told them they could save them for after Lent. The neighbor kids looked at me like I was from another planet. I don't think I even realize how many "free" treats the kids usually consume. It never ends.

"Stuff" Detachment
I think I hit a monumental point in detaching. I finally hit an item that I regretted throwing away. My Grandma used to make these beaded dolls. Well, my mom had set aside two of them that I had as a girl. I still have one of them, along with the attached umbrella and poodle, but this one I liked better although it was broken, so I threw it out. For some reason, I feel so guilty and sad. It was easy to get rid of the broken Baby Einstein video, the Farve shirt (we'll that was a little hard, good thing Curly still has his), my black sweatshirt with my maiden name on it back from when I coached volleyball, the black pants with holes worn through, the t-shirt with a picture of the kids on it so worn out you couldn't see their faces anymore, and the "Holidazed" CD, which was a CD about getting through Christmas without stressing out. I don't know, never listened to it, was always to stressed out. But the little purple beaded doll from 30 years ago, spoke to my need to detach from stuff. That somehow there there is a connection with this item, when really the connection is with the maker of the item. I thought that a helpful solution might be to take a picture of something that brings back good memories for me.

Spiritual Growth
This is the part of the post I have been dying to write. I don't think it was a coincidence that within a couple of days of me conjuring up enough courage to send my blog link to everyone in my address book, that our family was hit with the flu (at least half of us). We haven't had so much as a sniffle all winter. And here is the really interesting part. I had been planning to discuss spiritual warfare in my next blog which is now a week later than intended. When you see some of the stuff that I will be sharing it will be clear that there was indeed some spiritual warfare at play.

First, I wanted to talk about being sick and suffering. As I lay there sicker than sick, I was thinking about who I should offer my suffering up for and it was easy, for all those sick like me who don't have a nice bed to lay in, a clean bathroom, towels, drinks, pillows, and all the things that make being sick a little bit easier. I mean can you imagine being sick like that without a roof overhead or a bed to lay in? Interestingly, when I mentioned this to my brother that is exactly who he thinks of when he is sick too. Maybe everyone does. I think being sick once in awhile is good simply from the perspective of appreciating how good it feels to feel good. I felt like I was stepping out into the Land of the Living again today. Kids had the Saturday Night Fever CD cranked. It felt so good to feel good. I know some of you are smirking at our CD preference. This just somehow became the CD of the kids youth. We always dance to it and are goofy. In fact, the same night that Artsy made the comments mentioned above, she also said "Mama, I know what my wedding song will be." You guessed it - "How Deep is Your Love?" by the Bee Gees on that same CD, track 2. I said "I'll remind you of that when you are getting married. But if when you actually get married you decide on something else, maybe you and your daddy could dance to that one."

On March 3rd in my One Bread, One Body meditation, it talked about learning to suffer. I thought it was so good, I would just copy what it said.

God's word shows us ways to react to suffering and pain.
1) Jeremiah resisted not only his sufferings, but also those who caused them (Jer 18:19-21). This reaction to suffering is usually sinful and vindictive. Sometimes it is good to resist those who cause our sufferings. We hold them accountable in order to help them because we love them. However, we must always remember that our battle is not against people, but demons (Eph 6:12). My boldness added.
2) Some people try to escape from suffering. They deny the reality that suffering is an almost inevitable part of life. This makes matters worse and prevents them from building up the Church through suffering (see Col 1:24).
3) Another reaction to suffering is throwing a "pity party." Wallowing in pity, we neither accept suffering nor remove it (see Jon 4:1-3,8).
4) We can also react to suffering by resisting and removing it. This is often the right reaction to suffering. Jesus did this when He healed the sick. We also resist and remove suffering when we heal or care for the sick and oppressed.
5) Finally, Jesus' reaction to such sufferings as persecution, rejection, and self-sacrifice is to freely choose these redemptive sufferings and make them the most powerful expressions of love possible (see Mt 20:18).

In this Lent, may we let Jesus teach us how to suffer by being formed into the pattern of His death (Phil 3:10).

It is interesting that since I have started the spiritual growth portion of my blog, I have been interrupted about 10 times from the kids who are outside. Actually, this doesn't surprise me at all, in fact, I expected to be attacked a bit, but my patience is waning.

Shoot, I didn't even get to all of the good stuff about spiritual warfare and this is way too long already. I will talk about it tomorrow, but I need to tell you one of the quotes that I had planned to write the day before sickness hit. Geez, battery just died, had to go plug in the computer. I will get this out if it is the last thing I do. It is from a section of the book titled "Peace Is Often at Stake in the Struggle". Here is the quote:
"The devil does his utmost to banish peace from one's heart, because he knows that God abides in peace and it is in peace that He accomplishes great things."
There I got it out. I know God is accomplishing great things, at least within me, through this blog and maybe for some of you out there too. So, I felt the devil ramrodded this sickness through to try and destroy the peace. But to know our Lord is more powerful, gives me the strength to perservere. It is hard to get back on track with a blog after a week of absence.

So, keep your eyes open to where the devil is trying to banish your peace. I think being aware is half the battle and the other half is knowing Our Lord is more powerful and calling on that power to help us. We'll see what Fr. Jacques Philippe, the author of the book, says tomorrow as I am sure he has much more helpful information that me.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk, mashed bananas and cinnamon

Lunch: Lipton Noodle Soup, saltines, bowl of fruit (strawberries, blueberries, canteloupe, bananas)

Dinner: Tacos, canteloupe

2010-02-28T21:13:00.000-06:00

Mom On A Mission is officially sick. Hopefully, the blog will continue tomorrow as the sickness appears to be fast moving. She is already far better than earlier today. Please check back.

2010-02-27T23:03:00.000-06:00

Sorry, there is no blog again. Joke-A-Lot has been in bed all day, but to be honest now I am wondering if my stomach isn't feeling well or if it is just in my head. Better take care of myself and get rest. Although my stomach could be hurting from frantically searching the house high and low for Mr. Fix-It's wallet. He went to Sam's Club tonight and I was so afraid it fell out of his pocket. Thank you for your prayers St. Anthony. Only an inspiration from God could get me to look BEHIND THE BEDROOM DOOR! All we can think is that Curly got a hold of it and for some reason threw it behind the door, but that doesn't even make sense. Who cares! Just glad it is here. I will be back to normal blogging tomorrow (unless another child goes down for the count). We appreciate any prayers that went out for Joke-A-Lot. Her smile is coming back and I think after a good nights rest she will be up and running again.

2010-02-26T22:31:00.000-06:00

Sorry, no blog today. Joke-A-Lot is sick. Please pray that she gets better soon and that the others don't get it. Unfortunately, I can't help Mr. Fix-It. I had my class tonight from 4-10 and will also have it tomorrow from 7-7. I need it to keep my teaching license updated. As I always say "the only thing worse than have one sick kid is having four sick kids". I reminded Joke-A-Lot to pick a person to offer her suffering up for. I know God can use our suffering for the good of others. Look how he used Jesus' suffering, death and resurrection to save us.

February 25, 2010

2010-02-25T23:43:00.001-06:00

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

Song of the Day
"Somebody's Praying" by Ricky Skaggs
This song has always stirred up strong emotion for me as it rings so true in my life, but then I searched for the youtube and came upon this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_QN9A98dYo and saw a whole different side. Let's pray for all those fighting in our military and for those families whose loved ones have paid the ultimate price, including my father-in-law who was killed in the Vietnam War.

Food
Today was Race Car's 5th birthday. When they turn 5, they get a birthday party with little kids. Not really wanting to have a group of 5 year old boys running around our house, we went to an indoor play area. IT WAS PERFECT! We had cake and ice cream there. For now there are no birthday's in sight until Good Friday, which is Joke-A-Lot's 8th birthday. So, thankfully we will be able to be completely off of sugar for awhile.

"Stuff" Detachment
I grabbed the 3 items from the girls room. One item was a big stuffed teddy bear that neither girl even likes. It actually kind of scares them, so it is pretty much shoved under a table, but I was the one that would never get rid of it because my grandma had given it to them. Well, the truth is my grandma gave them a lot of things, one of which is a different non-scary smaller teddy bear that Joke-A-Lot loves. So, just learning that letting go of something she gave me doesn't take away from how much I love her. I also grabbed a handful of neon, crazy, wild hair things that the girls have had for years and have yet to wear them once.

Spiritual Growth
The quote from the gospel reading today is at the top of the post. This struck me because I remember hearing about this in the talk that I highly recommended a few posts back. I will put the link here again. This is so good, titled "Can God Be Trusted?" http://vimeo.com/7830792 He talked about how a loving father would give them things they would like, but a loving father would never give them something to their detriment. We may think we know what is best, but we need to understand that God has the big picture. We see one piece of the 10,000 piece puzzle and think we have it all figure out. Race Car might think it would be a terrific idea for him to take the mini van for a race around the block, but clearly we as parents know otherwise.

From Searching for and maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Philippe, "Christian life is a combat, . . . St. Paul in a letter to the Ephesians, invites us to put on the armor of God to fight not against human enemies . . .but against the cosmic powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens." (v 10-12 "It is the combat of one who struggles with the absolute certitude that the victory is already won, because the Lord is resurrected. . . He does not fight with his own strength, but with that of the Lord, Who says to him, My grace is enough for you, for My power manifests itself in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) We are in a battle. This battle can hurt our inner peace, but yet God's power manifests itself in our weakness. He should really be able to manifest himself in me then, since I have a boatload of weaknesses. I will discuss this more tomorrow.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: I have no idea. Mr. Fix-It was home since it was Race Car's birthday, so he did the breakfast.

Lunch: Yet, more egg noodles (they are all gone finally), ham sandwiches, vege tray

Snack: Birthday cake and vanilla ice cream

Dinner: Angel Hair Pasta, Classico Spicy Red Pepper Sauce, Simek's Italian meatballs, white bread, cake and ice cream

Snack: My dad's famous popcorn for our movie night to top off our birthday celebration

February 24, 2010

2010-02-24T22:19:00.001-06:00

"For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: By waiting and by calm you shall be saved; in quiet and in trust your strength lies, but you would have none of it." Isaiah 30:15

Food
I continue to try new things. Today was a tortilla with scrambled eggs and cheese. I was really hoping Curly wouldn't see the eggs, because he refuses to eat them. Of course, there he sat trying to pick the eggs out saying "Icky". Oh well, I tried. Also, went to Target to pick up Race Car's cake for his party tomorrow. The bakery ladies saw us coming and had 4 chocolate chip cookies waiting for us (they give free cookies to kids). I explained we were just there for the cake. Probably wouldn't have made sense to explain we were off of sugar for Lent as we were picking up a cake. Not a word from the kids about the cookies, not even Curly. Are they adjusting to this so easily? I have to think Curly never saw the cookie because I am quite sure he would have give the Battle Cry all of the way out of Target if that cookie would have been in his line of vision.

"Stuff" Detachment
I made good progress today. Put the Little People Noah's Ark and one of the many sets of race cars in the donate bag. Also grabbed one of Mr. Fix-It's computer books. I have to believe a computer book with the year 2003 on it is probably pretty useless, but I did okay it with him before getting rid of it.

Spiritual Growth
I went with the kids to Mass today. Artsy went up to the side alter to see if the red construction heart she left for Jesus with the words "I Luv you Jesus. Yes!" was still there. She was thrilled to see that it was gone because she really wanted "Jesus to come and take it".

It seems that I always get a blessing after I leave Mass. Today, as soon as I got in the car, I heard another of my favorite songs, "I was Made to Love you" http://www.youtube.com/watchv=IXhwFCWuMTo&feature=related
Add adoration tonight while the girls were at religion along with confession for both Joke-A-Lot and I, and I would say that is a pretty good day.

I wanted to get back to the book "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Fr. Jacques Philippe. "Often, we cause ourselves to become agitated and disturbed by trying to resolve everything by ourselves, when it would be more efficacious to remain peacefully before the gaze of God and to allow him to act and work in us with His wisdom and power, which are infinitely superior to ours." (page 6) This is what I need to do much more often. It seems easy to read the daily readings, meditations, rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet, etc., but it is so hard to slow myself down and just be with God, just listening and pondering His amazing mysteries. And I have to give up on the idea that this will ever happen while I have 4 children loaded with energy fluttering around. This needs to be specified quiet time. It is essential that we do this. "Acquire interior peace and a multitude will find its salvation through you," said St. Seraphim of Sarov.

"Acquiring and maintaining interior peace, which is impossible without prayer, should consequently be considered a priority for everybody, above all for those who claim to want to do good for their neighbor. Otherwise, more often than not they would simply be communicating their own restlessness and distress." I know people like this, no matter what is going on, peace exudes from them. I want to strive for this as well. I get frazzled and yelling pretty quick, from 0 to 100 in 15 seconds.

While spending time with our Lord in adoration, I was reading from the Diary of St. Faustina. A particular quote from her (below) is exactly how I am feeling today as I still wonder what the heck I am doing with this blog, but I can tell you this. I am abundantly more aware of God's blessings. My intention and desire is to do nothing more than the will of God. I am trying desperately to get my fear out of the way and allow God's courage to come through. I will end with this.
"Do what You will with me, O Jesus; I will adore You in everything. May Your will be done in me, O my Lord and my God, and I will praise Your infinite mercy." (page 40)

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Tortilla with scrambled egg and melted cheese, blueberries

Lunch: Toasted Cheese made with Nature's Pride, 100% whole wheat double fiber bread and marble jack cheese, vege tray

Snack: Mixed nuts, no oils or salt, just plain nuts (cashews, walnuts, pecans, and almonds), fruit cup (grapefruit, oranges, and grapes)

Dinner: Cheap steak sandwich, Extra Crispy Crinkles (Ore-Ida)

February 23, 2010

2010-02-23T22:45:00.001-06:00

"When the just cry out, the Lord hears and rescues them from all distress. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed." Psalm 34:18-19

Food
I dropped Joke-A-Lot off at Culver's to knit with these older ladies, about 40 of them. They usually get free drinks,but she knew that during lent she wouldn't be able to have any. We arrive to find out it is "free frozen custard for the knitters day", so before I left I told her she could have some. Come on. Who can turn down free custard? We'll she did. When I picked her up and asked what flavor she had, she said she decided not to have any. Her First Holy Communion is coming up in April, so for each sacrifice she envisions a beautiful flower in her soul. She is working to have a beautiful bouquet in her soul to give to Jesus when she receives Him in the Eucharist.

"Stuff" Detachment
Again, I have been lacking. I will be right back as I go and purge our home from 3 unneeded items. Okay, I got two black headbands that give me a headache every time I wear them and a set of "stay put" headwraps that certainly don't stay put. Why do I keep this stuff? It doesn't work for me.

Spiritual Growth
A few thoughts came to mind today. This morning when I read the Bible verse from psalms (quoted at the top of the page), I am reminded that my poor dad who is in need of healing on all levels is in good hands. "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, saves those who spirit is crushed." My dad's spirit is crushed and I am going to hold onto that verse with all that I have.

I was also thinking about our life on earth, full of blessings and bummers.

Blessing: I have such a great mom. She was amazing.
Bummer: She died when she was 62.
Blessing: Curly was born almost a year to the date after my mom died (missed it by 30 minutes).
Bummer: My labor and deliveries never go well, but leave haunting memories in my head.
Blessing: We are all filled with good health.
Bummer: It feels like I have lost my dad too, despite him being here physically.
Blessing: I still have my dad.
Bummer: Mr. Fix-It never met his dad, as he was killed in the Vietnam War.
Blessing: Most of my family is within 5 hours of driving.
Bummer: Mr. Fix-It's family is withing 20 hours of driving. That is one long trip.

This is our life on earth. The Lord gives and takes away. Instead of viewing life like it is going too fast, as I always do, I need to view it as we are one day closer to spending eternity with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I need not waste any time fretting over the small things of life. I guarantee I won't remember 90% of the things that get me so upset in a day. The song "Blessed Be the Name of the lord" speaks to all of this and always reminds me of my mom. No matter how hard things can be we must always come through saying "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord." Click here to listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRbxEPn6khw
That poor Canadian woman skater, lost her mom on Sunday and was skating today. How hard must that have been? If there is anyone out there reading this, please pray for her and her family.

I have lots to share about the book "Searching for Maintaining Peace", but will do so hopefully tomorrow.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Egg with Toast (Nature's Pride 100% Whole Wheat Double Fiber), fruit cup (grapefruit, oranges, and grapes)

Lunch: More Egg Noodles with Parmesan cheese (lots of leftovers), vege tray with dip (Curly was not happy that the cherry tomatoes were gone).

Dinner: Angel hair pasta, ground beef (grass-fed from farmer), Classico Spicy Red Pepper Sauce, Take and Bake Bread Sticks from Target, Parmesan cheese, pears

February 22, 2010

2010-02-22T21:50:00.001-06:00

Jesus said to them "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter said in reply, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." Jesus said to him in reply, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father. And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

Food
Mr. Fix-It came home today and confessed quickly that he had a "slip" today. Yes, it happens. They had a birthday lunch and next thing you know there was a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth. After dinner, Race Car asked if he could have a dessert. Habits die hard. But then I said "Yes" and pulled out the Kashi Oatmeal Raisin Flax cookies and he enjoyed it.

"Stuff" Detachment
I let go of three more big books. "What to expect when you are expecting", "What to expect during baby's 1st year" and a different 1st year book. Who knows if we will have more children, but heck after 4 children, what are they going to tell me that I don't already know. I'll donate them so a newly pregnant mother can poor over ever word just like I did 8 years ago.

Spiritual Growth
Interestingly, this has become my favorite part of my blog. Next would be "stuff" detachment and then the food. Isn't that interesting considering the title of my blog. I am just so pleasantly surprised that the family has been so easy going.

Today has been filled with a couple wonderful blessings. I hope there is someone out there reading this because I think this is so cool. We got a late start as we all slept in after the busy weekend. The kids had a little school done, but I knew Mass would only help my day flow more smoothly instead of hindering it. So, we went. Two awesome things happened.

First, after Mass, Artsy said she wanted to go up to the front of the church. I was confused until she showed me a red construction heart folded in half. I thought she made it for one of the old timers since we had made a few Valentine cookies for them the week before. She wanted to put it up by the statue of Jesus. As we got up there, I figured I better look inside to make sure it was okay. It read: "I luv you Jesus. Yes!"
She opened the heart and set it by the candles. I told her that it may be gone the next time we come and she said "I hope so. I want Jesus to take it." This was all on her own. I had no idea she even made it let alone brought it with her until after Mass.

The second thing happened when this kind old-timer came over and asked if he could take us to lunch. Who does that? Who invites a woman and her four little kids to have lunch? The church is attached to an elderly care center, where they serve meals. We have come to get to know this man over the last few months. This isn't our home parish, so we only see him at daily Mass. I have always encouraged the kids to be of service while we are there since there are so many elderly people. So, they hold door, smile, and chat (which isn't hard for any of them). And every once in awhile he will give one of them a coin of some sort when they hold the door for him. He has 5 grown children of his own. The kids were thrilled beyond thrilled to eat somewhere other than home, especially when he got them some Oreo pudding. Oh boy. I certainly couldn't put the kibosh on that one.

You know, I so often question our choice to homeschool and if it is the right choice. Today, I felt I received a resounding "yes" from the Lord, at least for now. These are priceless opportunities for them. Our goal is to lead our children to Heaven. Of course, there are a lot of other things in addition to this that we hope for, but none of them compare to an eternity with the King of Kings. Maybe, God will call us to private or public school in the future, but for today I have been reassured that we are following the Lord's will.

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk, mashed banana, and cinnamon, Jone's Brand sausage links

Lunch: Hamburger, turkey/cheese sandwich, pineapple, goldfish, and the Oreo pudding

Snack: Sliced apples

Dinner: Leftover Chicken soup, egg noodles, fresh vege tray with dip, oranges, homemade white bread, Kashi Oatmeal Raisin Flax Cookie.

February 21, 2010

2010-02-21T21:35:00.001-06:00

"For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them." Ephesians 2:10

Food
Joke-A-Lot fantasized on the way home from church today about how we might be able to get donuts after church on Easter Sunday like we have in the past. I am hoping as the Lenten season continues her fond memories of donuts after church every Sunday will fade. Although, I thought it was a nice family tradition, I have since realized that donuts shouldn't be a weekly tradition, maybe working through the Bible timeline series might be a better tradition. We have the adult series and the children's stuff for them to work on at the same time, so it would only take the effort. Maybe next Sunday. Today was Race Car's 5th birthday party. So, cake and ice cream and soda were part of the day. Plus, Artsy went to a different birthday party also where she had a couple treats.

"Stuff" Detachment
I think I might be onto something with this 3 things a day deal. At first thought, 3 things a day seems like nothing, but slowly the donation bags are getting filled and it is taking almost no effort. Yes, I would love to have the time to attack the house and really make a dent, but let's face it. I can barely string 10 minutes of uninterrupted time together, how would I ever get the time to plow through the house. I got rid of the nice robe that is brand new. Mr. Fix-It isn't a robe guy. So, after I donate it, someone who is a robe guy can enjoy it. Also, grabbed 3 pair of my 80's earrings. Not seeing myself wearing the pastel pink hoop earrings in the near future. I am becoming a little more free every day.

Spiritual Growth
Curly's godfather sent a talk by a priest in the Legionaires of Christ. He thought it might be good for my dad to listen to with his multitude of problems. It is titled "Can God Be Trusted?" http://vimeo.com/7830792
During Race Car's party, I was home with my brother and my dad while everyone else went sledding, so we listened to this talk. IT WAS AWESOME! I would highly recommend listening. He also has a book, which I will have to add to my reading list.

In my new book about maintaining peace, there was a fabulous comparison. He was talking about how for us to be able to do the works that God prepared for us beforehand, it was essential that we strive to acquire and maintain an interior peace. My words couldn't do it justice, so here it is. "Consider the surface of a lake, above which the sun is shining. If the surface of the lake is peaceful and tranquil, the sun will be reflected in this lake; and the more peaceful the lake, the more perfectly will it be reflected. If, on the contrary, the surface of the lake is agitated, undulating, then the image of the sun can not be reflected in it. It is a bit like this with regard to our soul in relationship to God. The more our soul is peaceful and tranquil, the more God is reflected in it, the more His image expresses itself in us, the more His grace acts through us. On the other hand, if our soul is agitated and troubled, the grace of God is able to act only with much greater difficulty." (Searching for and Maintaining Peace, page 5) Isn't that awesome?

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Peanut butter toast or peanut butter bagel or white toast with butter and some cheese.

Lunch: Scrambled Eggs, sausage links, pears

Dinner: My dear mother's famous chicken soup (everyone loved it), white rice, egg noodles, small mandarin oranges, homemade white bread with butter

Birthday Celebration: My dear mother's famous jello cake (husband approved for sure) and cookie dough ice cream, root beer and mountain dew (soda only on birthday's)

February 20, 2010

2010-02-21T00:24:00.001-06:00

"Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing". John 15:5

Food
It seems there are exceptions everyday. Joke-A-Lot and Artsy had a party tonight where they did enjoy a few treats. Tomorrow is Race Car's family birthday party, so once again treats. It is all good though. They have accepted it so willingly.

"Stuff" Detachment
Well, today after asking Artsy to put her Tinker Bell art stuff away twice, I threw it in the garbage. I waited for the tears, but they never came. I felt bad, but it didn't appear that she did. Finally I just had to ask "Did you even like that stuff?" Her response was "Not really." So, this is just one more example that most children in the U.S. have so much that throwing certain things away don't even phase them because in her case she knows she has about 25 other coloring books. To be honest, I think all those Tinker Bell girls look like street walkers anyway. Since it is late at night and I have been running all day, I am considering that my three things since the tin I threw away had way more than three things.

"Spiritual Growth"
I started a new book today called "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" by Fr. Jacques Philippe. When I was at the bookstore yesterday, it seemed this small book literally jumped off the shelf and into my hands. Probably because that same day, my head almost detached from my body when the woman in front of me at the stoplight sat through a full green arrow, despite my "polite" honks. She was clueless, so there we sat for about 5 more minutes because it is a long light. But do you know what? I wasn't really in a rush to get anywhere. The extra 5 minutes didn't kill me. And to be honest, instead of shooting her dagger looks in her side mirror, the time would have been better spent praying. To get upset over something that will be completely meaningless by the end of the day is yet another reminder that I need to continue to strive for that peace that surpasses all understanding, the peace that only our Lord can give, that peace that is there through all circumstances. So, this book will be good. I am going to read only a paragraph a day sharing whatever touches my soul.

"In order to understand how fundamental it is for the development of the Christian life to strive to acquire and maintain peace of heart, the first thing of which we must be convinced is that all the good that we can do comes from God and from Him alone. . . We often have to experience failures, trials and humiliations, permitted by God, before this truth imposes itself on us, not only on an intellectual level, but as an experience of our entire being. . . According to the testimony of all the saints, it is indispensable for us to acquire this knowledge." (page 1)

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk, mashed banana, cinnamon, whole milk plain yogurt flavored with a couple drops of french vanilla stevia

Lunch: Mr. Fix-It did lunch. I don't ask questions.

Dinner: Joke-A-Lot and Artsy had cheese pizza, sugared peach tea, sugar cookie, chocolate kisses, and popcorn at their party. I was there helping the "due any day with her 7th child" mom. The rest of the family had Pasty's. According to Mr. Fix-It, Pasty's are not a favorite for Race Car or Curly.

February 19, 2010

2010-02-19T21:11:00.001-06:00

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

This was the verse of the day for me. I continue to be baffled about what I am doing, but I am trusting that come the end of my Lenten journey, spiritual growth will be evident through my blog.

Food
Today was an atypical day. The kids had their valentine exchange at their homeschool group. I gave them the option of eating their stuff today or offering a sacrifice and saving it until after Lent. I told them that I didn't care either way. Joke-A-Lot chose to save her treats until after Lent. The other two had a complete feast on treats. Even Curly had two butter cookies. It is all gone, back on track tomorrow. Clearly, not a real nutritious day (see menu below), but gratefully this isn't the norm for us.

"Stuff" Detachment
See, this is good that I am accountable or else I would have forgotten today. I am going right now to rid this house of three things. Hang on. Okay, what I found is a cake book that I have had for about 9 years and never used one recipe. Boy, that is will be missed. The second item is one of the thousands of stuffed animals in this house. Definitely could do without that. And lastly, I grabbed a pair of plaid shorts from about 15 years ago. I noticed as I was going around that I avoid giving away things simply because of who gave it to me, whether it is of use anymore or not. For some reason, it feels as if I am hurting their feelings. Hopefully, this will change over Lent. People matter, not stuff.

Spiritual Growth
Artsy led the Divine Mercy Chaplet and Race Car did great on the rosary beads, but was really ticked off when we got to the end and he was off one bead. To be honest, I think having something physical for him to hold helps him calm down. I stopped at the catholic bookstore today. Got a bible and tabs for our nephew who will be confirmed soon. Also found this terrific book called "His Little Princess" with letters from our Lord to the recipient. It is beautiful and I think Joke-A-Lot will love to receive it for her First Communion. Every little girl wants to be a princess and how wonderful that they really are princesses of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. How much better could it get? Tonight, we did the stations of the cross as a family. Joke-A-Lot asked if I was crying. Of course I was as I am very sensitive. I just think of our Lord being nailed to the cross and being trapped and unable to move. And I think of the Blessed Mother holding her sons' lifeless body in her arms. Thank God for the resurrection because I would be in a deep depression for the rest of my life if the story ended there.

Today's Menu

Breakfast: Joke-A-Lot (marble jack cheese with triscuits, pears), Artsy (1/2 Brainy Bagel from Natural Ovens with peanut butter, pear), Race Car (cheerio look alikes with whole milk, cantaloupe), Curly (cheerio look alikes and lots of cantaloupe)

Lunch: McDonalds (hamburger no pickle, small fry, water)

Snack: Valentine exchange at their group - candy

Dinner: Culvers (breaded walleye, french fries, pears)

February 18, 2010

2010-02-18T21:12:00.001-06:00

I am already seeing how this blog might be a blessing to me. Knowing that I will be writing seems to open my eyes more to God's beauty around me. The girls did receive some guidance on what they should do for lent. Artsy (6) is going to stop pouting. Yes! I couldn't have picked a better idea myself. Joke-A-Lot (7) is going to call her grandfather every day and read the daily Bible readings to him as he is blind. Another great idea. I knew God would come through and I am glad that I didn't come up with the ideas for them.

We chatted with some old-timers after Mass, as some of the kids held the door for the elderly. Daily Mass yields only blessings for our family. The sun was shining. It was a beautiful day. I felt I received a gift from our Lord when driving home from Mass. The song "I can only imagine" came on during the 10 minute ride home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITGpelp5ZTQ
This song is a treasure to me as it resonates beautiful images of my dear mom, trying to imagine how wonderful things are for her now. May her soul and all the souls of the faithfully departed through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

I have decided to put the menu below for anyone who is interested. A word about the Lara Bars listed below. These are obscenely expensive, but made of only good things, like unsweetened apples, walnuts, cinnamon, raisins, and stuff like that. You can only feel good to give a "dessert" like that. Unfortunately, only Race Car and Curly liked it. Joke-A-Lot wouldn't even try it. At dinner, I didn't get a very nice look from Mr. Fix-It when I told him that he couldn't have his hot taco sauce as it has corn syrup listed 3rd, "Sorry honey, you said you were game for this". Thankfully, he is easy going and was appeased with the hot salsa sauce I had as an alternate. Artsy also said "Will you tell me when the days are over and we can have desserts again?" Didn't have the heart to tell her that we are only 1/23 of the way through lent. She also went on to talk about how she hopes there is a white chocolate cross in her Easter Basket. Other than this, they really haven't said much at all.

I stood there yesterday trying to figure out what to throw away, as I had committed to throwing 3 things away, and realized how attached I really am to "stuff". I finally relented and grabbed the $1 dictionary and $1 thesaurus from Target that never had the words we looked up in it anyway, along with something that I already forgot. Proves the point that there is way too much stuff if I don't even remember what it was that I got rid of. This may prove to be more freeing than anything. Today, I got rid of the VHS of Pinocchio and two other DVDs. We haven't watched them in well over a year. I am sure if anyone really has an itch to watch Pinocchio, we can find it at the library. Thank God for the library.

The Divine Mercy chaplet has been going wonderfully. Joke-A-Lot and Artsy take turns leading it and Race Car has been taking an interest in following along on the rosary beads and to my surprise he starts to join in with us. It has been very calm and enjoyable.

The following verse is from one of today's reading "Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding His voice, and holding fast to Him." Deuteronomy 30:19-20. I feel like that is what I am doing, trying to heed his voice. I have prayed that if this isn't his will, that it will self-destruct because it certainly will take a good chunk of time. But come the end of Lent, I will understand more fully if this was indeed the will of God or the chatter in my head. So, I commit this over to the Lord and ask His blessing if this is His will. This is certainly out of my comfort zone, but the last time I stepped out of my technology comfort zone, I found Mr. Fix-It. He was well worth stepping into the unknown for.

Today's Menu

Breakfast: Oatmeal made with whole milk, mashed banana, cinnamon

Lunch: Toasted white bread w/butter, ham, cheese, canteloupe, blueberries, oranges, or pears, apple pie Lara Bar

Dinner: Tacos made with corn and flour tortillas, ground beef, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, canteloupe

February 17, 2010

2010-02-17T21:02:00.001-06:00

Ash Wednesday

As I begin Lent, I sit here wondering what this season will bring. I had this wonderful idea of getting our family off of sugar. I am already off of sugar and have been for 4.5 years, but the husband and youngsters have been thoroughly enjoying my love of baking, probably to their detriment. Now, when I mean off of sugar, I mean off of sugar. All labels will be checked. If sugar is in the first four ingredients, it won't be an option for this family. And keep in mind there are a ton of names for sugar. Fruit will be allowed as it has the fiber to go with the fructose sugars, but no juices. Our drinks will be milk, water, tea, and coffee.

The journey actually began probably a week ago when I purposefully began using up the treats in the house. Then yesterday, I tore through the cupboards in search of any items not conducive to our Lenten practice this year. Some we used up yesterday, some got thrown away, and a few things got stored downstairs. We celebrated our Mardi Gras with a cake and ice cream. I told them they could eat as much as they wanted, just to make sure they listened to their stomachs. They all had one piece, some ice cream and were done. Over half the cake was left. I was thrilled. As a recovering compulsive overeater, I would have been determined to finish the cake so as not to waste any. Knowing that there wasn't enough cake there to satisfy me like they had been satisfied, I threw it in the garbage. This is one of the reasons I don't eat sugar. There was never an amount that satisfied me. I would just keep eating and eventually be sick. Their satisfaction with one average piece of cake and a scoop of ice cream was one more sign that they indeed were not following in my footsteps, but nonetheless learning a more healthy way of eating could only benefit them. So the Lenten journey begins.

My interest is peaked as I don't know what to expect from this journey. Will this be a story of spiritual growth for our family. Will God use this sacrifice, this turning from food and turning toward him to grow our family spiritually? Of course, in order to do this, we need to have something we turn toward to help us grow. We will be doing the Divine Mercy Chaplet daily at 3:00pm. We will be going to daily Mass when possible. I also feel God is calling me to purge "stuff". So, I will get rid of or donate 3 items a day from our house. This journal, which now is a blog, is interesting too, as I don't know necessarily why I am writing it other than because I felt God calling me to do it. My girls (Joke-a-Lot, age 7, and Artsy, age 6) have asked the Lord for direction today as to what they are to do this Lenten season. I assured them that they would feel some direction before the day is over. Race Car (almost 5), and Curly (age 2),my guys, are a bit too young to join in the reindeer games. Mr. Fix-it, my husband, will decide for himself, although he is willing to go along with ridding our house of sugar, allowing only small amounts of Stevia, no artificial garbage either.

Maybe the journey will end with children who love healthy food, although that would really throw me for a loop. Maybe, I will notice skin rashes clear up or behavior change for the better. I am expecting a bit of withdrawal from everyone as sugar is an addictive substance. Will I put my energy into creating delicious healthy "treats" for them? I really don't know. Time will tell and I will share this journey with all who care to read. It makes me a little nervous as I can't imagine what could happen that would be so earth shattering, but I lay aside my apprehension and grasp onto the Lord with all my might, knowing that He is in full control.

We went to Ash Wednesday Mass during the day. We homeschool so all the kids were along and they did great. Mr. Fix-it will go later. This was another great opportunity to remind the kids that our time on earth will end and that we need to spend our effort focused on our God-ordained mission on earth, continually seeking guidance and working toward being obedient to God. Our home is in Heaven. We only need to please our Father in Heaven.

The kids aren't eating a lot of what I give them, but that doesn't surprise me. They aren't going to jump on this bandwagon so readily although I haven't heard any complaints about not having sugar and it is already almost 3pm on day 1. We had real peanut butter (Smuckers brand) on Nature's Pride 100% Whole Wheat Double Fiber Bread for breakfast. Lunch consisted of Toasted Cheese on the same bread with marble cheddar cheese, Campbells V-8 Tomato Herb Soup with spiral noodles, a few goldfish, tangerines, or pears. I will skip snacks today as they didn't eat much and I know the pattern. If there are snacks, they will skip the meals and chow down on the snacks. Dinner will be pasta with sauce (Classico, spicy red pepper) and Parmesan cheese, strawberries and cantaloupe, and homemade white bread (Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day). Although "white" foods cause some people problems, taking the sugar out will be task enough for us.