March 10, 2011

Today while riding down the road, I saw a sign on the side of the road that you may also have seen. It read "Fender Bender? Pull over to the shoulder." I have always found that fascinating. Do we really need a sign to tell us to pull over to the shoulder if we have a fender bender? I would think that would be obvious to the common observer that one must get their huge piece of steel and plastic out of the way, so others can proceed past them. But as I thought more about it, I realized that I am not so quick to pull over when I have a mental fender bender. I don't get out of the way, so others can proceed with their day. I typically make sure others (usually my kids and husband) are aware of my mental fender bender. So, I can see the wisdom in this road sign for my spiritual life. When I have a mental or spiritual fender bender, I need to pull over at the soonest opportunity to share information with God and allow his Holy Spirit to come into the situation no matter how small, so as not to cause further mental fender benders between others by not getting out of the way.

In my meditation today, it stated that "one of the clearest symptoms of lukewarmness having entered into a soul is precisely such an abandoning of the Cross, a contempt for little mortifications, a scorning of anything that is some way involves sacrifice and self-denial." I hate sacrifice and that is why I find Lent so difficult, especially in regard to what I put in my body. I gave up diet soda for Lent and hopefully thereafter as well. And I see how quick my mind thinks of consuming that beverage as an enjoyment, like it will provide something for me. Staying up late and writing my blog and reading my meditation is in a way a sacrifice, but quite honestly (and I said I would strive for complete honesty in my blog), I enjoy writing this blog, so it doesn't feel like much of a sacrifice. Doing this also helps me ground myself so much in the spiritual. I think of giving up my coffee with milk in the morning and just cringe. That seems too difficult for me. So, sadly I think God will put crosses in my life to bring me closer to Him, such as when my mom died. I know I am stronger and closer to Him because of her death, but I still miss her so much. Things just seem so much lonelier without her around. I will work to sacrifice more than I do and let you know of any progress in this area. Joke-A-Lot wanted to go to adoration every day during Lent, and I said "No way." Maybe, I need to sacrifice a bit and try to do this.