March 15, 2011

I have two thoughts today as I plow through Lent learning profusely from my children.  Today, I was driving with the four kids in the back.  On the other side of the road there was a car with 3 police cars behind it.  Then I saw a man trying desperately to walk a straight line to no avail.  He was clearly drunk, keep in mind this is at 9am.  I lost my temper in the car "What an idiot!  He is drunk!  He could have killed someone!  What is he thinking?  What a loser!", and on I went.  Sad, but true.  I should have obviously held my tongue.  But what does Joke-A-Lot say from the back seat?  "Mama, God calls us to love our enemies."  Darn it!  She is right again.  I can't get away with anything.  So, immediately I agreed and we prayed for him.  I reminded them again when I tucked them in to pray for him.  I also reiterated that what I was doing wasn't useful at all, but our prayers are useful as God loves that man just as much as He loves us.  I am not kidding when I say "My kids are helping me get to Heaven."

The other struggle I have had today is with pride.  My daughters did something really cool recently and a lady from our church wrote an article with my help and put it in the quarterly church pamphlet with a picture of the girls.  Joke-A-Lot asked me if it would be prideful to ask her friends if they saw it.  We agreed that it was something that we didn't need to bring up.  Yet, I had to fight myself because I wanted to ask the mom of these friends if she saw it.  So, I bit my tongue many times and tonight I caved.  I actually blatantly asked her if she saw it.  She said that she had and it was fine, etc.  But I am kicking myself.  Why am I in such need of affirmation and praise from other people?  And there were a couple people that did mention what a nice article it was to me without me prompting them, but why did I have to hear it from her? What is someone put on the spot going to say anyway, "Boy, that article was the pits."   Why isn't it enough to know that the girls did a really great thing for God and that's it?  I just wish I could rely on God alone for my affirmation and praise. 

I am so glad that God loves and forgives me as I try to make my way through this journey of life on earth.  Good night.